I know that Bella and I have been raised in very different ways. She was raised mostly as a loner, growing up here in the crags. Diveen was an oddity to her and yet she learned to thrive in its rocky environment. I'm glad I met her and I'll never regret it. I'd like to think we've learned from each other from the years we've known each other. But here we are to meet again in the place she was raised, both of us without a pack to call home and yet I know she must feel the urge to be surrounded by others just as I do. I just don't know where I fit in yet. Maybe she doesn't either. I know that she doesn't need me to protect her. It's just an instinct that's been born into me and for some reason, she brings it out in me more than anyone else. I've never felt this important urge to hurt someone over someone else. Even when Sulan rushed at Amir that day, I stood by and let Kane do all the refereeing. I never thought to step up and do something and yet I know Bella is just as capable of defending herself as Amir. It's just something about her that I can't just stand by. I feel the uncontrollable urge to do something, anything to keep her from harm.

She seems not too concerned about her wounds, shrugging them off when I ask about the pain. She admits that they itch, turning to rake at one with her teeth and I cringe as the scab peels away to let fresh blood trickle down her unique coat. The image of blood staining her coat makes me tense up again in protest, my eyes almost glaring at the trickle as if I could stop it simply by looking. She doesn't seem to notice though as she licks it up like it's nothing. I scowl. "Maybe you should put some kind of herbs on that or something. Don't you know any healers?" I'm almost curious of any other wolves she might know, a part of me wishing to know everything about her, from her friends to her simple acquaintances, just to put more pieces together in the puzzle that is Bella.

The shock registers almost instantly in her eyes when I tell her that I left Diveen. I guess I thought she would just shrug it off like she seems to do with everything else and think I just want to try out being a loner like she's been most of her life. Instead she points out the obvious. Yes, Diveen was my life. I look away and frown. "You're right, it was. But it's not the same without the wolves in it who made me who I am, who taught me how to survive and defend myself." With Amir and Voltaire and Micteca and Kane and all those wolves who influenced me gone from the pack lands, what kind of life is there for me? Sure, I could have gotten to know the new wolves and maybe made some new friends and influences but somehow that almost feels like a betrayal of the wolves who have raised me when my parents didn't or couldn't.

When I try to change the subject, she cuts me off and my frown deepens, ears folding back in discomfort and I shift my weight. My eyes bore into hers for a moment as if I could ever dream of intimidating Bella but I don't think I could even if I tried. Instead I finally sigh and shrug a little. "What's there to talk about? My friends have all left Diveen and scattered throughout Moladian. I don't fit in there anymore. I'll find another pack some day or maybe I'll just be a loner like you. Is that such a bad thing? Can we please go do something else now?" I know I almost sound whiny but I can't help it. I suddenly smirk and dart forward, trying to tackle her to the ground and chew on her ears. Anything to distract her from talking.

Exodus_male_four years_41in_195#_no mate_unable to imprint_no children_loner