BLURRY EYED AND TONGUE-TIED
trippin’ over landmines
She marvelled at the sudden change in him, and found herself staring for a moment, wondering. Had Tolinka somehow come to mean a lot to him in those few hours they had spent together? And, would he have reacted much the same if it had been her in Tolinka’s place, out of Asche’s sight with a strange stallion? As much as the whole situation may have excited her once upon a time, she found herself hastening to soothe his apprehension for the third time since she had arrived. It… Did not sit well with her, seeing him so agitated. And besides, as much as she thought that Psychedelic would be up for a challenge, Sinopa did not want to see either of her stallions hurt by each other, or by anything else. She pressed her muzzle to his cheek again, hoping to relax him.
“I’ll say it plainly,” Sinopa murmured softly, her voice raw and honest. “I promise he is just a friend. He was the first soul we met on these isles. Goes by the name Psychedelic, and, whatever bond Toli and I have with him… He is no enemy to you.” She spoke lightly, tentatively, not wanting to assume anything, and yet desperate to make things clear. Or, at least clear in this one matter. “I can’t say that she isn’t drawn to him, that I am not… But Toli, she didn’t leap down a waterfall just so she could see him up close. And I…” And she hoped that her words made it clear enough, because she didn’t know what else to say, aside from the words that were stuck in her throat. “I’m here, with you.” For a long time, she hadn’t wanted anything more than she did right now – for her words to be enough.
“There is nothing to forgive,” the bay mare replied, perhaps a little too quickly because she feared her words would stick in her throat again, choke her, become accomplices to her fear and doubt which already had their holds over her. “Safe,” she murmured against his skin, as if convincing herself that she was. “I’m glad to be here,” Sinopa continued, her voice losing its familiar edge as she settled by his side. And though none of her words could be considered false, these were down-to-earth and honest, open and unmasked like none she had spoken in his presence before. Without any sharp edges, or underlying meaning, buried emotions or hidden secrets.
His words came very close to rattling the bones that protected her heart. It wasn’t the deep, personal nature of his words that touched her, but the way they seemed to reflect her. I know, I know, I understand. Oh, if only she were as brave as he, then she could admit to feeling much the same. But she was scared, and her fear silenced her for a time. The bay mare felt a half-sob rise within her, struggled to hold it in. And then Asche moved closer, and she felt his muzzle on her neck, his breath warming her skin. Had he known, somehow, wanted to comfort her in return? The thought reassured her, but only for a moment. The stallion had pulled back and turned away, and Sinopa found herself opening her mouth, wanting to tell him, wanting to be honest, to say that this wasn’t just a game. It wasn’t a game anymore.
“Tolinka.” That was the word that fell from her lips. Not wanting him to think she had seen her sister in the waves (for she couldn’t bear to see him disappointed, not again), she stumbled over her words, trying to make sense of her crowding thoughts, lest she say something she’d regret. “You are important to her. She never usually approaches strangers, not like… I-I mean, she’s never wanted to stay with someone, not since we were younger, barely more than a pair of once-fearless fillies. She’s changed too.” And he spoke of not wanting to go through life without fondness, warmth, love… Taking a step forwards, Sinopa extended her muzzle, tucking it beneath his, intending to draw him back. “You don’t want that anymore? So don’t, Asche, don’t move away,” she whispered the words. “I’m right here, and I… I want to stay.”
s i n o p a
gettin’ lost in your mind
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