Flatulent Freddy’s Flying Machine

Freddy saw an advert for a flying competition,
“Build a homemade aeroplane - that must be your mission!
You should create a plane that has not been flown before,
That’s capable of flying for at least an hour or more.
First prize is a holiday in an exotic place.”
Fred thought he would have a go, and try to win the race!

Fred went to his tool shed, and had a look around,
To see what he could find that might get him off the ground.
He found a shopping trolley, and a few old bits of wood,
An engine off a lawn mower – that might be some good!
With screws and nails and nuts and bolts he fastened them together,
Some old tarpaulin for a roof, to keep away the weather.
Fred thought he had built a plane in which to win the race,
He couldn’t keep a cheesy grin from creeping round his face!

When the contest day arrived, he loaded his machine
Onto his brother’s pick-up truck, and drove it to the scene.
He arrived at the aerodrome, and waited at the start,
Along with four contestants who were also taking part.
The starting pistol fired, Freddy tried to start the plane,
Alas, the engine wouldn’t work! Poor Fred cried out in pain!

The other planes were well away, with Fred stuck at the start.
He felt a nervous rumble - and let out a massive fart!
(He’d had a Three Bean Curry for his tea the night before.)
He farted once again – and his plane shot up off the floor!
Fred farted like a motorbike! The plane flew swift and fast;
He hoped his Three Bean Curry gas was strong enough to last!

He flew round for an hour, left the others far behind,
With thoughts of winning first place uppermost in Freddy’s mind.
The other planes all lost their power, landing one by one,
While Fred still zoomed around the field - he knew the race was won!

He landed on the airstrip, and he climbed out of the plane,
His bottom let out one last trump – a victory refrain!
The organisers came across to shake Fred by the hand,
They said, “Congratulations, Fred! Your little plane is grand!”
They asked what powered Freddy’s plane, to fly in such a hurry,
He said, “It runs on natural gas – from Mother’s Three Bean Curry!”

The first prize of the holiday was handed out to Fred.
He didn’t go there in his plane - he flew Virgin instead.



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