Though their coupling had been perfect - rough and wild and unexpected - it wasn't enough. Not yet, not this time, not with him. For something dwelled within her that demanded more, that demanded it all. She had been naive and sweet and innocent for all of her life, until now. Now she had been tainted by the blood of her brother, and had learned the sins of the world and had enough mind about her to develop envy and jealousy. And while she had not seen Grey Wind pay any attention to any other females, she had been gone for months, absent from his side and from his den. Who knows what changes had happened. And so she found she needed to know, demanded an answer of him as soon as they were finished and collapsed from the effort. No relaxation time was given nor a moment to recuperate. Immediately she questioned him, knowing that it was now that he would be most vulnerable - away from everyone else. But as soon as her vocals began to ring out, his entire attitude changed. His feathers were ruffled, and his annoyance was obvious, which he voiced in no uncertain terms.
'I don’t know what you expect of me, Macaria. I am not the feelings type, I don’t know how this works. I have attractions towards you that I have never felt towards anyone else before. And I don’t know what that means or what I’m supposed to do with that information. After I lost my family I realized that it was safer to not have feelings, but you’ve changed that. What do you want this to be? I am not used to this, I don’t know what this is supposed to be. I know I don’t want it to stop.'
Though he said a lot, he did not give her any answers. Per usual, he evaded everything that she had asked about and did not give any passionate decisions... No decisions really. Instead, it was partial truths... And then he returned her questions with his own questions. He did not want it to stop... But he also did not want to label them. He did not want the responsibility associated with a label, the commitment. The only commitment he wanted, apparently, was the commitment and responsibility associated with being an alpha and nothing more. He wanted her body, not her mind - or whatever was left of it, fractured and cracked as it was.
"I'm glad to know that you have such uncertain and wavering feelings for me, Grey." Her vocals were hard, cold. "I don't want that, Grey, I want more. You kidnapped me, but you stopped being my keeper a long time ago. I returned and am different and you are my Alpha, but I don't want that to be all. I don't want to be your plaything, something you only pay attention to and want on a whim, I don't want to share you. I want you to be mine. I want to scratch out the eyes of any other female that even looks at you sideways, and eat them as a snack. I want to be yours, where you proudly show me off as your mate, where you hate it when I'm alone with any other brute. I want you to be openly jealousy and furious when another tries to woo me. I want it all." She growled at him and jumped to her feet, flicking her tail stiffly down to cover the fleeting signs of her virginity. "But more than anything I don't want this indecision. You have a decision to make, Grey. I want to be wanted, desired. I belong here, and thus will stay, but until something changes in that thick skull of yours I will not share your den or your bed. Until then, what I do, who I do, and where I go will be none of your business. Because clearly, right now, I am not what you want. Clearly, right now, you don't know what you want."
She shook her head, frustrated, but all she knew was that her vampiric desires were starting to rise again - her hunger was returning, and she needed to taste blood upon her tongue once more, even as her own blood continued to drip drop down her sides. "Goodbye, Grey. I'm going for a stroll."
OOC - she still has tactile senses, but does not have pain receptors btw :) Do you want to put up a post somewhere with pad foot? You can put up a reply with grey wind here if you wanted too :) <3
||Macaria||Female||Vampiress of Abendrot, Zeta||Adult||Channing x Henadin|| |