I feel such helplessness. I want to scream, to cry out and beg anyone to come help and yet instinctivly I know. I know that there is nothing that can help him now. My daddy is beyond help, his body crushed so surely that he might never walk again even if he managed to survive. Judging by the blood pooling around his mouth I knew that he had only a few moments. It scared me because I desperatly did not want him to go. I choke on his blood because we both know this is all that I will have left of him, his touch, his words. HIs love.

I sob.

"I know, Daddy, I love you... I'm sorry," I say, my voice wobbly and thick with tears as I press close to him, hovering. He stares hard at me and my heart squeezes, hurting. It would be so much easier to bear if I looked away but I could never. Would never. So I stare back at him, memorizing his face, his beautiful face, because I won't see it anymore. I gasp another sob as he spits out words at me, struggling so much to tell me what I already know. It doesn't make me feel any better. Just worse - this was my fault.

"I'll tell her Daddy," I say, a promise, assuming he means that mother should know he loved her. Of course she knew. I couldn't even think about how she would react. For a long time I stay staring at him, my own deep breathes masking the quietness that suddenly surrounds him. I weep over his figure even as the light in his lavender eyes fades. I don't know how long I weep - minutes, hours, days. Time has no meaning in grief, but I bury my face into his fur and desperatly suck in his scent, even if it is a coppery smell.

Finally it hits me. I need to tell mom. I need to tell Lazarus. I can't possibly bury him by myself and I hesitate to leave his corpse, glancing around worriedly, but if I'm quick then others from Iromar can come back and help me... I don't know. Do what needs to be done. I look at him again and lick his muzzle. "I'll come back Daddy. I'll come back for you." Then I race away, tail between my legs, as fast as I can move.