The deep sadness that Brienne carried on her shoulders - as she had for years now - had yet to budge, and she fully expected that she would carry it for years to come. It had kept her company during some of the darkest times of her life, after all; indeed, at this point, it was almost like an old friend: a friend that she was not fond of, of course; one that sapped her energy and made the world seem bland and grey. But she was used to its moods, and was beginning to understand what triggered and what calmed it. She'd found, for example, that distractions were the key to keeping it manageable. And recently she'd been gifted one of the biggest distractions of all.
She was in love with - and possibly pregnant by - Shamwari. The stallion had awakened in her a maelstrom of feelings ever since they had consummated their relationship, and ever since then Brienne had the sensation that she was vibrating with unspent energy. She awoke thinking of him, and she fell asleep thinking of him. During the day, when Shamwari was busy with herd-related duties, Brienne looked on with the most intense longing. It was all she could do to stop herself from following him around constantly, to stop herself from offering her body to him over and over. She desired everything about him, could not get enough of him. Soon she began to worry that she was becoming insane. She had never been so hyper-focused on one horse before in her entire life.
What helped restrain her was the knowledge that Shamwari still carried with him the woes he had been dealing with for some time. Though he had confided in her and told her everything, there still seemed to be a black cloud over him wherever he went and whatever he did. Though it pained her to do so, Brienne did her best to give him space. She knew that he would not be able to give her his full attention when he was so reflective and downcast, and the last thing she wanted was for him to grow sick of her company. She knew from first-hand experience how overwhelming attention could be when your emotions were in tatters.
But the day another stallion arrived, Brienne could restrain herself no longer. The prairie had grown very quiet as of late, and a new horse arriving was a big deal - even more so when it was a stallion. She knew that Shamwari had been suspicious of stallions lately, and it did not help that both Paradiso and Samhain - two stallions he trusted - were both gone. Their absence had left a void that would be difficult to fill. But Brienne's interest in this new situation was more than that. Now that her relationship with Shamwari had become something deeper, she felt as though she should hold a vested interest in the goings-on of the herd. She wanted to - needed to - help the stallion she loved.
She watched him respond to the strange call with her heart in her throat, and when she saw him returning in the distance accompanied by dark, slim horse, Brienne began her approach. She was not confident, being all too aware, as usual, of the crookedness of her nose, and her skinny legs trembled as they carried her towards the pair. Her clear blue eyes darted back and forth between the ruddy girth of Shamwari and the swarthy litheness of the stranger, and she did her best to offer them a friendly smile before she made her way to Shamwari's side. The little palomino mare brushed up against his barrel and greeted him with an affectionate bump to the cheek, before shyly peering out from under the arch of his neck at the small, elegant stranger.
She hoped he would not be able to tell how terrified or how new to this she was.
BRIENNE
9; palomino overo; wry-nosed & mute; 15.1hh |