I was a queen once

Though this day i dont feel very much like it. I am tired, though i have not been able to get any sleep. When the night comes and those beautiful stars i long so much to be like come out to wink at me i simply lay awake, watching them. Reason? For when i close my eyes i no longer dream of delicate flowers in the spring time or the simple sounds of waters rushing do not come to soothe me. Instead it is nightmares, brutal betrayals leading into my very own demise and showing me the gruesome sides of a life i believe my soul truly lived. I was a queen once, and i was murdered for my throne.

How tired i am, my elegance seeming to be a curse i cannot get away from. It is upon the cliffs i lay, my head resting upon my paws, eyes looking out into the world but not seeing anything before me. Who could i possibly tell about these visions that haunt me so? My family would not begin to understand. And to be honest, do i even have friends? Possibly not, i am a ghost upon this land, roaming with no soul purpose and avoiding contact with those who may never understand who i am or why i am the way i am. I have yet to even arrive in my packlands to see the changes my own sister spoke of. I am a shell, carrying the soul of the one before me before one day it will fully consume me.

My eyelids droop, so overwhelmed with exhaustion that it seemed i would fall asleep at any moment only… his scent reaches my nares and i become wide awake. Orb, i almost forgot about that sweet boy from the waters that night. How gentle he was with me, careful. His life just as messed up as mine if not more. The voices flowing from his mouth, trapped together in one mind and one body that i had grown to care for. It was complicated, so very much so and yet it made so much sense to me. The only difference between us being the fact that my soul did not speak. My head lifts from those small paws, yellow eyes turning to face him as he nears. I cannot help but allow my tail to wag slowly, content with his calming presence.

“It is me, Orb,” i say simply, a slight dip of my head enough to acknowledge him. “come,” i ask him politely, nodding to the place beside me as i sigh gently. “you’re timing is perfect, i could use a friend.” how vulnerable i am right now, how fair and naive. Trusting in this male who i know so very little about. I am too tired to know what is off about my friend. I am too tired to spot the differences and to notice the subtle accent within his words and i am too desperate for support that i am willing to stand on his shaky ground.