Kikka is surprised to hear Zevu has a twin, and dismayed to hear they’ve been apart for so long and under such ambiguous circumstances. "Oh, you poor thing," she says, reaching out to press her black nose against his pale shoulder in sympathy. Kikka can’t imagine being apart from Trell for so long, and without so much as an idea of where he might be. That might kill her. Zevu speaks of it almost nostalgically. She pulls her head back and regards him seriously. "I hope you do see her again. I do. It isn’t good to be parted from your twin. That’s so special, Zevu..." Kikka trails off as another wave of misery rises in her, this one bolstered by empathy for her companion’s loss.
She tries to set it aside as they walk, and focuses on observing notable changes in the terrain and the information Zevu gives to her. She nods her head. "I was lucky, then." She keeps her eyes forward but can’t move her mind away from the tragedy he’s shared with her. Perhaps the saddest part is how it didn’t sound so much like a tragedy to him at all; she knows grief can twist a horse’s perceptions, sometimes dulling a feeling to make it bearable for the carrier, and she glances at Zevu as she addresses his missing twin again.
"I’ve never had a family. I mean, like parents and siblings and stuff. And I mean, I know obviously we’ve got to have parents somewhere but I don’t remember them at all. I just know Trell’s been with me forever. I’m so sorry Auraleigh isn’t with you. Are your... are your other sisters, uhm, supportive?" She fumbles. What is it like to have siblings who didn’t share the womb at the same time as you? The concept sounds so strange to Kikka even though she knows it is the norm. But when she tries to imagine siblings of her own besides Trell, as if she loved them and grew up with them just the same, she feels only that they would be strangers always. There is no kinship quite like that between twins, between Trell and her.
Her eyes are sad as she looks fully at Zevu, but there’s a hint of surprise hiding in her gaze. "So many of your family have disappeared. I don’t think I could bear it, at all. But you... Your twin, your father, your mother.... And you’re still here. You still seem so happy." There is no accusation or judgement in her voice, only wonder as she tries to puzzle out how this is possible.
Maybe it’s easier, the bigger one’s family is, to set aside loss as long as there’s still someone else at your side, but Kikka dismisses this idea immediately. What if she had three Trells? Three brothers, all alike and as different as she and Trell are now; wouldn’t she mourn, deeply, the loss of even one? This whole line of thought is too depressing to continue, and she tries to dispel it with a snort. "You’re a stronger horse than I," she declares, and shares what she’s just been thinking. "I only have one Trell, but if I had many I think I would still be gutted to lose even one." |