as I wandered the forest, the green leaves among, i heard a wild flower singing a song

she is comfortable here, talking with him, doesn’t feel the usual pressure. despite knowing shamwari would never force her into anything, she can’t help but feel an odd sort of pressure around him. nothing he ever did or said, just an unspoken obligation she feels to please him, perhaps in return for the freedom he has provided her, the protection he has always offered her. she would feel obligated to him, if he asked things of her. she couldn’t help it. this conversation, however, holds no such shadow. nothing seems to hang between them, throwing off the balance.

she likes his easy going manner, confident but gentle, relaxed but she sees the concentration he puts into his actions. it seems he is as keen as she is to make a good impression for some reason. as they walk, where the reeds graze his underbelly, she is nearly up to her shoulder, she keeps her eyes keenly fixed to him. she was unhappy to bring up the subject of his mother, and even more unhappy to learn of the disappearance of his sister as well. it would be a relief, however, if their friendship was to continue (and she hoped at this point it would,) to have things out in the open. she much preferred things that way. at his reaction, she shivers, her bodys way of expelling little anxieties. she nods solemnly as he speaks, agreeing wholeheartedly with his conclusion. brienne would have wanted her family to be happy, to be moving forward with their lives. she repeats his mantra, her voice quiet and light as a feather as she watches him, his eyes somehow meeting hers. a new chapter… his vulnerability is mirrored by her own, and her usually unflinching gaze softens, and breaks when he snorts, abashed by the tenderness of the moment.

she watches him dart forward, and a shy smile fades across her features when he nickers back to her. she quietly nickers back, encouraging the playful discourse. the tension dissipates as he climbs the hill, with playful exuberance, and she is relieved. her eyes widen at his comment and it takes her a moment to recover, her mind scrambling. usually when others made comments about her looks she took it as an insult, as it often was phrased as such coming from jealous mares, or crass when coming from stallions who only seemed to want her body and not the mind that came along with it. from his lips however, she seemed to hear it a different way, her tidy steps faltering as she had begun climbing the small hill in his wake. she gazes up at him, unable to hide the pleased expression she can’t seem to shake. her voice is small but happy and clear as she replies. i …. i don’t hear it all the time. and never as you have said it.

she doesn’t want to hide the pleasure she feels at his compliment, but some part of her feels an awkward hesitancy, an uncertainty about where the fluttering feeling that she can’t seem to place might lead her, a worry that perhaps shamwari wouldn’t be pleased with how well they seemed to be getting along…either way, she couldn’t hide it fully if she tried. instead she manages a garbled half smile and can’t peel her eyes from him, even after he looks away out toward the far side of the territory. she sidles up close beside him, too close she finds, to concentrate on much, and determined to finally look away she manages eventually to focus on the far treetops of the forest in the distance. his next comment, a question, throws her even more off guard. she lingers for a minute, thinking, wondering…letting the question turn about in the air between them, before plucking it down and answering it, her own eyes drifting over toward him, despite her best effort to keep them glued to the horizon.

i don’t know really. vita nova and i met in the common and it seemed as good an idea as any to follow her back here. when i heard about the loss of brienne i thought i would stay and try to help cheer shamwari up. i have found that despite his sadness, he is trying to be happy. i don’t think he needs me for that. i don’t know where my home is but i have always been comfortable around him, and this place.

it is an awkward feeling to try to put into words and she doesn’t quite succeed at all of it. having washed up on the shore of the common, she hadn’t planned to visit the prairie right away. while she was fond of it, and it’s leader, she didn’t feel any more literal attractions pulling her that direction. her friendship with vita nova seemed to solidify it’s place in her heart just as much as her loyalty to shamwari. when she thinks of why she stayed this long, it had been in the beginning to try and remind shamwari of better days, to be happy and have a full home. but it seemed she spent more and more time down at the shoreline, in the tall swaying grasses that she was always so fond of. shamwari had mares and even foals that demanded his attention more so than she, and she was glad, for they seemed to make him happy. her mind clicked and reeled, wondering if she had answered his question and that small fluttering feeling stuttered up to her mind, intruding, making her wonder if his question could also just be a way of asking if she had come back for shamwari. before she could stop herself, she blurts out, shamwari…i mean, your father, we have always just been good friends. she wants to disappear and revel in her embarrassment at her awkwardness but instead settles for a quiet huff and shakes her head, chiding herself. she is glad his eyes seem focused far away from her.