I would honestly love you now,
But I would lovingly let you down.
The clouds hung low and thick across the horizon. The moved quickly with the currents of the battering wind, which changed their shape, making them look swollen and angry. It was a strange, melancholy backdrop to what had turned out to be a rather fruitful day for the young painted stallion. His interest in Petal piqued as he heard her nicker back to him playfully, and scale the hill to stand next to him. His heart was beating loudly in his ears as he watched her move in near to him. She was so different from the rest of Shamwari's herd -- She looked at him differently, too, as if she saw something equally unique in him. It made his gut churn tight with excitement, but also flair with a hint of dread. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her. Was he really that interesting?
As far as he knew, Petal had wandered across many exotic places. She came and went with the wind, and did as she pleased. There was something alluring, and almost magical about that, Jabari thought. While Petal did not walk around oozing confidence or expressing her independence, her choices certainly showed she was bright, and that she was content with her decision not to settle into the predetermined roles set by the gender given to her at birth. All of this about her, excited Jabari.
A chill ran down the length of his spine as he watched Petal's expression brighten in the aftermath of his compliment. It had been daring of Jabari to speak to her in such a way. Outside of the casual, but routine pleasantries he shared with the other herd members, he'd never spoken to a mare in such a way. But he felt drawn to do so, as if it having just a chance of making Petal happy, if only temporarily, was enough to risk throwing it out there -- even if there was also a risk his words would fall on deaf ears, or worse, and make her feel uncomfortable. As he looked at her now, with his two-toned mane battering wildly against him in every which way with the ever-changing wind, he boldly extended his pink muzzle to follow up the compliment with a light, but reassuring touch on her the mare's soft shoulder. He felt chills all over again upon being so close to her, upon touching her for the first time. His nostrils flared as he breathed in her scent at such close proximity, but he didn't dare hover for too long.
He listened as best he could through the howling wind as Petal explained her journey back to Luthien. His smile brightened when she mentioned Vita Nova. They seemed like an interesting pair. Where Petal was quiet and calculated, Vita Nova was brazen and boisterous. But at heart, it seemed they shared the same kind of values. Jabari always felt lucky to have someone like Nova looking after him, when she came to visit. He feels that uncomfortable creeping feeling return when their conversation falls back onto Shamwari. But her words are important, and they offer a better glimpse into the relationship she had with his father. Jabari bobs his head once in understanding. "It's kind of you, to want to look after him." He says genuinely. "We don't talk much about it. He's the type to just soldier on. I'm never sure how he's really felt, since that day." He says, but feels himself growing anxious to change the subject.
There is something in the way how Petal describes her way with his father that makes Jabari feel hopeful. Perhaps it is in the way she mentions that the Prairie is not her home. If she had felt some kind of connection to Shamwari, perhaps she would have phrased that differently. This is solidified when Petal clearly describes their relationship as just "good friends". Jabari can hardly hide the grin inching at the corner of his lips, upon hearing the news. "So if you could live anywhere, where would you call home?" He asks curiously, happy to change the subject. "I've never left the Prairie before, let alone Luthien." He offers, but feels foolish upon letting the words leave his lips. He's embarrassed about his lack of travels, but for as long as he could remember, there was always a need to have him here. At first, it was to help his mother with his deaf sister, Everglow. Then it was to help Shamwari with the herd. Now, it seemed, his role had been solidified. He was busier than ever with routine herd tasks. Despite his initial fearful feeling of sharing such a personal revelation about himself, he seemed to settle. He wanted to share himself with Petal. He wanted her to know him.
Stallion | Brienne x Shamwari | Chesnut Overo | 15.2 h| Photo © Carina Mailwald | © Vinyl |
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