as I wandered the forest, the green leaves among, i heard a wild flower singing a song

she is having trouble comprehending the blooming feeling of joy waking up inside her body and mind as the interaction continues. she has known friendship and contentedness but the chemistry between them awakes a more primal feeling of happiness, excitement and possibility that she has never experienced. the soft graze of his muzzle on her shoulder sends a thrill through her that she tries not to overthink but fails miserably. as they stand, being battered by the wind atop the small hill, she cannot think, for once, of anywhere she would rather be. she tries to keep her focus on the looming clouds in the distance, the treetops of the forest, but finds it keeps drifting back and sideways to catch glimpses of him.

she is grateful that he carries on through the conversation, which rests briefly and uncomfortably on his father. she nods along, appreciative for the insight into her friends life and surprised to find that shamwari had shut up so tightly after brienne’s death. she doesn’t feel the need to venture any further into those depths, at least not with him and not now, so she is pleased when he leads the conversation to different ground and even more pleased to catch the growing grin when she finally expresses that she and shamwari have only platonic interests and not romantic. she has never found casual conversation to be this challenging. it is a puzzle to her, one that she isn’t sure she will find the answer to. a part of her is fearful, that this conversation and interaction is already in uncharted territory and on course to go even farther from shore, that shamwari will be angry or upset with her, that maybe even vita nova would have reservations… she can’t deny her attraction, and so far has failed to hide the little smiles and glances that indicate as much.

she tries to put all of these things to the side and just enjoy herself, and his close proximity as much as she can without worrying. his curiosity is welcomed and she finds herself smiling as she reminisces on the places she has lived before the prairie. i love the mountains and the forests the most. the thickets and sequestered meadows that no other living soul has touched or seen. the mountains are no place for wintering of course but they come alive in the spring. each blade of grass, each blossom and sapling, all singing with joy when the snow leaves…. there is a smile in her voice as she thinks of these things, but she grows a little more serious as she addresses his admission. the prairie is a wonderful place. i am learning that it is less about the places we live and more about who we meet while we are in them that is important. she is almost jealous of him for a moment, having had such a cemented place in the world. she barely remembers her parents, the land where she grew up and here he knew squarely where he stood with his family and his home, but it is a silly feeling that rushes away as soon as it rose up. he had known his own share of hardships she was sure. will you leave someday? she asks tentatively, almost afraid of the answer. already she feels she is more connected to him than vita nova or shamwari. she hopes he will see more of the world someday, for his sake, but she is uneasy thinking of losing his friendship to distance.