Lucia’s affirmation reached out to her as she slumped back down into a lying position, too weak and disoriented to go very far at this point. But Lucia is wrong. So very wrong. ”NO!” Myrria shouts after Lucia’s consolation. ”No… I-I have hurt them. A lot…. Before now.” she mumbles, ashamed and angry at herself for even divulging such sordid information to her angel-souled sibling. Her wine hued eyes peered up from under her lids without lifting her head, her expression growing dark for a brief moment as she remembers the many massacres of her past. She does not revel in it any longer - she wants to escape it.
She longs for the feeling of the cold abyss again and silently wishes for more herbs to take her there. But not with Lucia around, she needs to pull herself together for her sister’s sake. She can’t believe that she even let Lucia find her in this state of being.
It was when Lucia stepped closer that the floodgates behind Myrria’s eyes were let loose - all of her repressed emotions were surging to the surface without permission. Almost instinctively, it seemed, Lucia’s body was soon curled around Myrria’s smaller figure, comforting her in a way that she hadn’t known since parting from Sekhmet. But this was different, this was stronger, only that of a familial bond could bring about such a motion. Even after Myrria had been so distant Lucia jumped back in as if nothing had ever changed.
It was then that she felt the weight of sorrow and regret fall upon her. She could have been there for Lucia more than she had been - she had always been so protective of her and then… what? She just left her like that? What type of sibling does that? Not one that deserves this level of commitment and affection, that’s for damn sure.
She felt the warmth of Lucia’s breath part through her soaked fur as she was nuzzled. Myrria was a stranger to such closeness for such a long time and even now, it felt wrong to be comforted so intimately, but she was frozen in place. Her muscles quivered at even the thought of moving an inch. And yet… she felt that she gleaned something from this moment as her sister comforted her in the only way she knew how.
Lucia had been lucky to be able to grow up with both of her parents - it’s probably the reason why she’s the way that she is. Myrria… she never stood a chance at a life like that. The fates, as much as she fights against them, had determined long ago that her existence would be one of suffering. Even still, she’s glad that Lucia was given what Myrria could not have had. At least one of them knew what a normal life was like.
She is soaked, cold, and exhausted. She wants to give in to sweet slumber, but Lucia can’t be burdened with looking after her. She won’t allow it. ”No, Lucia… I’m tainted with my sins,” the raspiness in her voice is nearly gone, but it’s clear that she’s grown tired. ”You don’t… you don’t even know,” her voice escapes in a whimper this time. ”Just go. I’ll be fine on my own... be with your family,” she wearily pleads for Lucia to leave, to not carry the burden of looking after her pariah of a sister. ”We can talk when I’m….. not so weak,” she can hardly get the words out before laying her head down. Her eyes flutter rapidly as she looks up to her sibling, her ears twitching slightly at any semblance of Lucia’s voice before it all fades to silence and dark.
She is whisked away to another abyss - one of dreamless sleep.