at his gesture she follows him further into the thicket, barely big enough for the two of them. she is unapologetic about the space her massive body takes up… she has always been so proud and sure of herself that her only shame now is that he has seen her in this diminished state, not round and shapely with health and muscle. since his first appearance and the loss of hope he had brought and then the disappearance of her sestry at the peak she has neglected herself, allowing hollows to form in the shallow sides of her hips and shoulders, allowing her inky black coat to lose it’s healthy sheen and fall to coarse dullness. regardless she moves with practiced grace and deliberateness as she lowers herself to the ground before him, wondering if he notices these things about her, hoping he doesn’t.
she watches as the weight of the moment passes over him, feeling similarly. her own heart thuds unpleasantly in her ears and her eyes still prickle with tears that threaten to keep falling. a memory passes over his face, powerful and heartbreaking, and she cannot help but tear her gaze from him for a moment, breathing deeply, afraid of the memories that threaten to break from their prison in her mind to torment her as his did. she glances back up at his apology, the ghost of a smile forming in her lips as he questions the reality of the situation. it was surreal.
she had felt so hopeful and confused when they first met, desperately hoping he had been sent by her rodina to bring her home or to just bring news of their people. anything. but he was a stranger and he did not know her. her heart had shattered that day into even smaller fragments than it had been in when she washed up on the shore of the islands. it had felt so unfair. she just wanted her family. or to know they were safe. now, she accepted she would never see them. that they were likely all dead.
she cannot bring herself to return the small smile she sees flicker across his dark features. the sound of her name in their language again brings about a soul-shuddering home sickness and then when he speaks of loss the tears that had threatened to spill again finally did. a small whimper escapes her lips and she lowers her great head to the frosty ground, no longer able to support the weight of her burdens. if there had been enough room to roll to her side and lay flat on the ground she may have. some time passes before she can compose herself enough to lift her head a few inches and speak, though this time she finds she it is easier not to look at him when she thinks of them. it was in the night when i was thrust into the sea by the earth itself. it was all i could do to keep moving, swimming, until i reached the shore of this place. i thought..i thought surely i could not be the only one. for a long time i hoped…. but now, i think there is no one else… she feels the gravity of these words every day but speaking them, acknowledging the true death of her rodina is not something she has done aloud. all her family, lost. all her herd, lost.
she remembers very little of that night. screaming shrilly as the earth shuddered and the sky boomed. the feel of her hooves pounding the earth before the land itself cracked and groaned and thrust her into the sea which rose up to meet her. everything was dark. everything was deafening. luckily she did not hear the screams of her people as they were lost behind her… the cries of her bratri, her matka, as they fell… thankfully she did not hear them. and all she could hear now was their silence. the loss of them.
i think there is no one left but you and i Kunžak. she utters the painful words again with a quiet finality, knowing that he has probably already come to terms with this truth but she had steeled herself against it for so long that it has become new again. she rests her chin against the earth and raises her eyes to his, knowing she will find confirmation of her statement written on his face.
