"andhere mein vah ek raasta talaashatee hai"
in darkness she finds her way
The tension in her body and in the air, as well as the waves of distress she feels coming off Everglow had started to wear Vihaan down. Her nerves felt raw, and the exhaustion she had been fighting off won’t be kept at bay forever. Even as she lingered close to Everglow’s side, positioned just so that if either stallion turned on the pair they’d have to get through her before reaching the blind mare, Vihaan resisted the urge to flee. The black and white has made himself quite clear, and the longer she spends in the company of the smoky black brute, the less certain she is of him.
Panic fluttered in her chest at the painted stallion’s reaction, but still, she held her ground. Vihaan had nothing more to offer, and could only rely on her persistence now, hoping that the stallion was not blind nor ignorant to her worth. She bit her tongue as she waited in anxious anticipation, and finally got a name. Cain. Her eyes narrowed at his words, fury burning in their depths at the slight against her honour. True, he did not know her, but it stung her that he regarded her vow as nothing. She had promised him everything in exchange for Everglow’s safety. She was willing to leave all she had ever known behind, trusting that he would keep his word. All Vihaan wanted was a chance to ensure Everglow’s safety and well-being, reunite with her father, and assure herself that her mother had found her way Home.
It was clear to her now that this stallion, Cain, had never known life as she had. If Vihaan’s blood wasn’t hot with anger, she’d pity the loveless male. A deep breath inhaled and exhaled allowed Vihaan to relax ever so slightly, her ears turned forward and her tail flicked anxiously as she detected a slight change in his voice, and tried to discern the meaning from his words. She is familiar with most of the common language, but it is only when Cain clarifies that she understood. This time, she cannot hide the dread. It flashed across her face, just for a moment. Her vision seemed to spin, and Vihaan felt for a moment that her legs might buckle beneath her. It is only the fire of Everglow that keeps her standing now. Though her mouth opened, Vihaan struggled to find words to say in that moment that Cain would understand. Her throat suddenly tightened, her mouth dry. She felt sick, a myriad of emotions roiling like snakes inside her. Thankfully she was granted a brief reprieve, as the smaller, scarred stallion spat biting words.
Having little else to distract her in that moment, Vihaan latched onto the stallion’s retort. She was left bewildered, and struggled to make sense of things. She recalled the blank look she’d received from the smoky black male – as if the words she’d spoken to him had not made sense. And she realised then, that she had greatly misjudged him. Despite herself and the precariousness of the situation she and Everglow are in, Vihaan risked snapping a retort at the stranger. “I am not your excuse, darapok 1.” Her pale gold ears slicked back in anger. “You do not fight for me, I fight for myself, for more than myself. You fight for nothing.” In the chaos, both external and internal, Vihaan had made a mistake. It would be her last. Her intuition and instincts about the dark male back near the Falls had not been wrong. If he came for her then, Vihaan would be ready, and she fiercely hoped that Cain would come to her defense if need be, given that she had promised herself to him.
Vihaan lowered her head and glared at the smoky black male, even as her ears were trained on Cain, and caught everything he said. Vihaan snorted in disgust. These stallions were even worse than those back in the deserts of her mother’s homeland. There was no honour in them, no respect for others. All their hearts were filled with was greed, and a twisted sense of satisfaction that could only be sated by causing others pain. It sickened her. To think that she had thought the dark stallion had come to Everglow’s aid when she was helpless... Even Cain seemed eager to succumb to this base desire, forsaking all sense. It was clear they did not know one another, and that this rivalry was grounded on nothing worthwhile. A rivalry born for the sake of rivalry. Vihaan could almost smell the testosterone.
If they wanted to bathe in one another’s blood, fine, but Vihaan wanted no part of it.
It was Everglow that succeeded in snapping the brutes out of their squabble. At Cain’s retaliatory snap at the air, Vihaan immediately stiffened and curled herself in front of Everglow, intending to shield her if Cain lashed out, but made no move to return any aggression. It edged every line of her body though, and she raised her head, simmering in anger. She would keep to her word, but that did not mean she would tolerate any further abuse directed at Everglow, nor allow herself to be walked all over. Vihaan had promised to be helpful and obedient, that she would stand beside him, and even fight for him. But she had promised nothing of her heart, or her respect. He’d have to work hard to earn that. All he was succeeding in winning right now was burning resentment.
“I will not fight you, will come with you now, and return to desert soon, but I am no meek, cowering filly. Do not speak to Everglow that way, or you make things harder. I do not need to be enemy to you.”
With that said, she briefly dismisses him and turns to Everglow, murmuring softly near her ear. “Won’t be gone long. Then you and I, we go Home together.” Vihaan longed to place a gentle touch upon Everglow’s near shoulder as a means of comfort to them both, but held herself back. Perceptive as her mother, Vihaan recalled the tense moments preceding their flight from the Falls, and the subtle reaction her touch had drawn from the blind mare.
She felt so out of her depth, so desperate to see them both make it out of this situation in one piece. So angry and sad and scared. But Vihaan had no idea how to convey any of this, and even if she did, she was far too resilient and proud to allow herself to lapse again, and show the cracks in her armour. Everglow’s tears had her own eyes prickling. “I know,” Vihaan tried to reassure the distraught mare, for whom she already felt intensely protective. “But I choose to bear this, so that those without choice don’t have to.” Neither stallion was capable of comprehending how helpless the mares both felt, perhaps no stallion would ever understand what it was like to have control over their own bodies, their own freedom and will wrestled from them. It is empathy that bound her and Everglow together, and it is her fierce affection for the mare that burns bright and reinvigorates Vihaan.
Vihaan remained close to Everglow’s side a moment more. She turned her back on Cain in what he’d hoped she would recognise clearly as a show of faith, trusting that he wouldn’t close in on Everglow. With a snort, Vihaan waits for the black stallion’s attention. The scent of blood is stronger now that Vihaan has moved a little closer to him, as she flicks an ear as this registers, but her gaze settles on the stallion’s scarred face and does not waver. “Whatever it is that holds you back, it would be good for you if it remained until Everglow and I are gone from this place.” After a moment, she turned to follow Cain, but then reconsiders. Her ears lay flat on her mane briefly as she turns her muzzle to the stranger a final time, hissing a warning. “I have nothing to give to convince you not to touch Everglow. But if you do touch her, I can promise that I will come for you. With all my strength I will hold you while Cain brings his teeth and hooves against you.”
Vihaan approached Cain, stopping just short of him. She scoured the meadow quickly, taking note of a small cluster of trees nearby, far enough away to provide a little privacy, but close enough for her to rush back to Everglow’s aid should the smoky black male choose to ignore Vihaan and provoke her to wrath and ruin. If Cain took the lead, she would quickly fall into step behind him. If he hadn’t noticed her gaze wandering towards the trees and remained where he was, Vihaan would avoid his touch, skirt around him and lead the way herself. Whatever he would demand of her, she would bend but never break. Her mother had raised her to be strong, to know her own mind and be true to herself. Even if parts of her were lost here – her freedom, her happiness, her innocence – Vihaan would ensure her dignity remained intact.
Only after Vihaan could no longer see the figures of Everglow and the other brute (and nor had she heard any sounds of distress from the mare she would fight to defend) did she turn to Cain again. Closing the distance between them, she softened before his eyes, the fight leaving her body as she gave in to the exhaustion that still lingered from her long journey to this place. Dark eyes widened, the fear she’d been hiding behind iron will and fighting words was finally revealed. She was completely at his mercy now, had resigned herself to this promised fate.
Though she had not yet seen anything in the black and white stallion that drew her to him, and Cain had promised her nothing more than to leave Everglow alone… Vihaan brushed her muzzle against his neck tentatively. “Please,” the word was soft, beseeching. There was no steel in her voice, nothing hard or cold. In this moment, she was far from the mare who negotiated, persistently holding her ground. It was not a demand, for she was acutely aware that Cain could do whatever he pleased in this moment, but still, she begged him, trembling. “Please don’t hurt me.” And then she closed her eyes, and turned her face from him, submitting to him completely.
When it was done, Vihaan could not lift her gaze from the ground, shivering no longer with fear, but with shame. Minutes earlier she had been desperate to go home, and now all she could think about was how devastated and disappointed her mother and father would be. If Cain made any kind of attempt to touch her, she’d shy away, but would only leave the trees at an indication from him, provided she heard nothing to indicate that Everglow was in trouble. Otherwise she’d follow if he made a move to return to the mare he’d lusted after and the stallion he’d fought with. The sun had been low in the sky, and was sinking towards the horizon rapidly. By the time she was safely at Everglow’s side, twilight was upon them. Vihaan only looked to Cain one last time. “I will come to your desert before two days pass,” she said tiredly, and then would take her leave, guiding Everglow away.
Only after they came across a large pool of fresh water did Vihaan stop. She murmured softly to Everglow under her breath, saying that she’d be right back, and then she waded into the shallow water, and folded her knees beneath her. The water wasn’t deep enough for her to properly be rid of Cain’s scent, and all Vihaan got for her efforts was a dripping wet belly. The water trailed down her legs as she stumbled back to Everglow’s side. “Tomorrow, as soon as the sun comes up, I can lead us Home, to Luthien.” And she tried to sound hopeful, but it didn’t really work. As tired as she was, sleep refused to come to her now. Her vision blurred, so Vihaan closed her eyes against her tears and dropped her head as her face flushed hot with her sorrow and she whispered hoarsely. “I’m glad to not be alone, Everglow.”
Vihaan
the persistent
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