Zjeena's first steps in paradise were halting and tense. She felt the stress of being a new mother in a wild and unfamiliar place. She felt the shame of going from queen to prisoner, but over time, her distress faded to an easy kinship, not just with the herd, but with the her very prison guard. Call it Stockholm syndrome, or call it love, but something changed within her, and it changed her life forever.
Zjeena too was caught off guard. She thought she'd fight her way to freedom, and fall sweetly back into Liland's embrace, but here she is, home in the Bay, feeling more lost than ever before. Visions of Liland's face, twisted with rage, sour her stomach. His threats echo in her ears, raising a new kind of fear and unease. Memories of what they once had only bring her pain.
Then she thinks of Rougaru. Silver falls of mane cascading down an arched neck. The turn of his head. The strong line of his jaw. The ripple of muscle in his haunch. It all sets her heart aflutter, and she feels the pull of longing deep within her gut. There is no denying it now, not to herself, and not to anyone. She has fallen in love with Rougaru.
It's not the same kind of love she felt for Liland. Her love for Liland was warm and comfortable, like a seat by the fire, and their romance was pleasurable like sweet dessert you can can't help but sneak in the night. But the fire now burns low in embers. The chill of the night seeps in, and a sweet dessert sours in the kitchen.
The feeling she gets thinking of Rougaru is something different altogether. Her passion is hot, an inferno of pure ecstasy. Perhaps it is the danger. Perhaps it's because she shouldn't. Maybe it's the conflict with Liland that throws gasoline on the fire. Whatever the reason, Zjeena can't stop thinking of him and the way he left her body throbbing for more.
Her feelings manifest themselves in sleepless nights, and a heart full of sorrow. She didn't expect Rougaru to visit so soon. Their foal together would be his excuse to call. It's silly to think she could ever be a reason. He has a herd full of strong and beautiful mares. They will keep him company until he comes to collect his payment. Until then, she should forget their tryst, and work on mending her relationship with Liland. For the sake of her children, and for the sake of this herd, she has to set her feelings aside, and do the right thing.
But she has not had enough time to forget the details of that night. The memory of such still plays out in full detail behind her eyes, and her feelings have yet to be safely contained. Every effort to clean up the mess inside her heart became nothing as she heard Rougaru's beckoning call. She couldn't help but greet him, just like she can't slow the racing of her pulse, or the calm the dizzy feeling in her head now.
Zjeena's dark eyes meet the brilliant green eyes of Rougraru, and she replies with words almost a whisper "And I you."
Zjeena didn't know how much she missed Rougaru until she sees him now. He looks upon her with affection, a stark contrast to the anger and disappointment she sees in Liland as of late. She needs this now, to feel wanted and loved. These past few weeks in the Bay have left her feeling so painfully alone.
Zjeena smiles but such a smile only curves her lips. Her eyes, first bright with the joy of their reunion darken with sadness. "Yeah." she reluctantly agrees. Tinuvel suits her, and she can take care of herself just fine. She and her children made it here without an escort, and through all the troubles she's faced, Zjeena has never been in any physical danger, but she falls quiet now, her gaze drifting to the pebbles mixes with sand at their feet.
Does she tell Rougaru what's on her mind? There are so many things she wants to say, but the consequences of saying it all out loud would tear her family apart and close the door to the Bay forever. Is she prepared for that?