Posted on November 27, 2019 at 01:15:20 AM by Evanescence
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She made her way back to the inlet with a heavy mind but a light heart. She knew she had crossed a huge threshold. Ruger had opened something up in her that she didn't even knew existed anymore. Something about him had always drawn her to him, but he had shown his vulnerable side, let her in, and she would never forget it. She'd finally talked about the stallion she wouldn't even name in her thoughts before, Valour. Somehow, Ruger made her feel safe enough to talk about it. She had borrowed his strength. But she knew that Requiem was supposed to be that strength. As the stallion who had fought for her, took blows from Ruger himself just to take her to safety, she knew she owed Requiem something. She owed him an apology above all and she would give that to him. She felt guilty because she knew that any child she had was supposed to be his. She told him she wanted to stay with him and she'd meant it that day. Requiem was becoming a friend, someone she could trust and talk to, but there was something about Ruger that meant more. She had to go with it. She wouldn't forgive herself if she didn't see where it went. But she couldn't keep any of this a secret. It wasn't in her. She had to tell Requiem, the sooner, the better. She couldn't rest until she did. Requiem had left around the same time she did. She didn't ask where. It wasn't any of her business. She knew that Requiem had other responsibilties, other mares. She didn't want to hold him back from anything. She kept her distance from Nampeyo. The other mare was so stand-offish and very forward. Maybe Evanescence had turned a point where she could allow one stallion to touch her, but that didn't mean she was ready for that kind of conversation. She steered clear of the other mare. She felt bad because she told Requiem she wanted to stay with him, and at that point, she did. She didn't have anywhere else to go and she did care about him. She hadn't meant for anything to happen with Ruger. She thought it would be a short conversation where she awkwardly apologized to him then he would turn his back on her and leave or something. She didn't expected him to talk to her, open up to her. She didn't expect him to tell her about Zimri, to relate to her. She didn't expect him to get past her barriers. But he did. He did the unexpected and she found herself reacting in a very instinctive way, a way that she didn't regret. But it didn't meant she didn't feel bad about betraying Requiem. That's why she wasn't planning on going anywhere before she found him. He needed to know that things had changed. She didn't try to get rid of Ruger's scent. She wasn't ashamed of what had happened. The timing was just bad. With a sigh, she rolled her shoulders and headed onto the shores of the Inlet. When she saw Requiem's familiar form patrolling, she paused and let out a low nicker, sure that it would get his attention. He wouldn't have to get close to smell Ruger on her coat. She was sure he could probably already see the guilt in her eyes as she lowered her head and tucked her tail. When he got close enough, she spoke. "Requiem...I have to tell you something." She glanced up to make sure she had his attention before she continued. "I went to find Ruger. I meant to apologize, but it turned into something more. We talked...traded stories. I...I let him touch me. I...I'm carrying his child." Of course it had only just happened so she couldn't be 100 percent sure but she already felt different so she was pretty sure. Her gaze lowered for a minute, sure that he would be angry. He deserved to be. She wanted to let him get it out. She would flinch and maybe even stumble back if he came closer while angry, but she would take it because she knew she deserved it. He was her stallion. He had fought her only to hear she ran back to the stallion he fought for her and let him breed her. She knew she probably hurt him and she was mad at herself for that. He didn't deserve that. Requiem was a good stallion. He was kind to her. She let him have a moment before she looked up again. "I know I betrayed you. I can't apologize enough to make it better. I...understand if you don't want me here anymore. I don't know what's going on between Ruger and I....but I'd like to see, if you'll allow. I know I said I wanted to stay but....I'd like to go back to him." There was no way to make that sound better. There was no way to make it okay and she knew that. She flinched even saying the last words, sure that it would only twist the knife she was sticking in him. But for Ruger, she had to try. Evanescence_mare_4yo_Belgian/Percheron Mutt_17hh_blue roan coat_black mane&tail_dark brown eyes_bound to none_Tinuvel Inlet Mother to: Ryder (xRuger) |
Replies:
- the strange way of the world - By Requiem December 5, 2019 at 09:17:08 PM
- bring me back to life... - By Evanescence December 6, 2019 at 03:13:17 AM
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