There was the possibility, when Zjeena first returned from Paradise, that they could move past everything. Zjeena really did love Liland. If she didn't, she would not have returned to him. She didn't expect him to be happy with the manner in which she gained her freedom, but she hoped he would come to accept it, to understand that yes, Rougaru took one fertile year from her womb, that Liland otherwise might have had, but that he also gave her her freedom. He gave Zjeena back to Liland in a gesture that was nothing short of kind. Rougaru had every right to breed her and keep her. This is the world they live in. Rougaru owed Liland nothing. He won Zjeena in a challenge, fair and square, but he still chose to release her.

How many mares has Liland challenged for and won? Several for sure. From that end of the bargain, Liland should not expect to owe the losing stallion anything. He won. End of story. Unfortunately, for the prideful little stallion, this arrangement works both ways. Challenges are issued. Battles are won and lost, and outcomes have to be accepted, win or lose.

It is true that Zjeena grew fond of Rougaru during her time in paradise, but the longer Zjeena thinks upon her actions, the more she feels them justified. It's not her fault she was in Paradise in the first place. She had no idea how long she would be there. It would have been a miserable six months if she had remained bitter towards Rougaru the entire time. In fact, if she had been that way she wouldn't be here today. Rougaru never would have willingly released a mare he didn't like, maybe traded her like currency, but certainly not freed her. And why can her heart not have room for more than one stallion? Liland has a collection of mares; each one he claims to care for. The fact that Zjeena cannot do the same seems exceedingly unfair. One must remain monogamous, while the other does not.

As previously mentioned, Zjeena didn't expect him to be happy about the circumstances, but his reaction has been over-dramatic at best. Liland has a lot of pent up anger, not all of it because of Zjeena, and yet he seems to be taking it out on her. She is supposed to be his queen, after all. He always told her she was his equal, and that they would rule together, but his reaction to her return has proven otherwise. They have not been able to discuss the issue like reasonable adults, who happen to disagree, but want to find a middle ground. No. Liland remains emotional and unyielding.

She avoids him now because she knows a mature discussion is unlikely to happen. Let him approach when he is ready to talk, actually talk, and not bicker with her, or whine about his bruised ego. There is a split second where Zjeena hears Liland start to speak, and her heart skips a beat. She wonders if he's ready to have that discussion now, but as the words pour from his mouth she knows now is not the time.

Even after all this time, of them not speaking, of them being angry at each other, of Zjeena wishing had never come home, there is that part of her that misses what she had with Liland, and longs to get it back. Each time Liland is terse with her, and each time Liland throws her a venomous glare from across the field, that part of her grows smaller yet. There will come a time very soon, when Liland pushes Zjeena past the point of no return.

Zjeena's ears lace back as she whips her head around to look at Liland. She stalks towards him has he berates her with his words. Her eyes bore into him like lasers. "No, Liland. We are in this situation because you didn't get what you wanted." Zjeena snaps back. "I didn't expect you to like the manner of my return. All I asked was that you accept it and stop turning every minor disagreement you have into a long term vendetta. You don't have to be friends with Rougaru. You can hate him for all I care. But for the safety our herd, and to keep the likes of both Warsaw and Rougaru from threatening our family, then you need to make peace with them. That is all."

She stops a few paces away, shaking her head with the frustration of it all. If she hasn't gotten through to him yet, it's unlikely she will now, but she can never be accused of not trying. "And it would be nice if you would treat me like the Queen I am supposed to be. You tasked me with this role. I have stepped up to the plate time and time again. I followed you when you lost the Bay. I bore you two beautiful foals. I was training to win the Bay back for us before Rougaru took me in a challenge. I tried to take a bad situation and make it better by forging alliances that could make our family stronger and reduce the threat of future challenges. I made it back to you, on my own, of my own free will. Even after you have stripped me of my freedom, I continue to patrol, and forage, and tend to the foals. While you do what? You stand here, feeling sorry for yourself. You pick fights with anyone who will give you the time of day."

She huffs, before more words pour out of her mouth. So much was left unspoken these last several weeks. "Do you know what I want? I would love for you to be friends with Rougaru. He's not as bad as you think. I would love for you to make friends with Warsaw. He is a seasoned warrior who I'd prefer be on our side than not, even if it means letting him think he's king of this rock. I want to you love and father this foal, like you would any other foal born within these borders, but I know none of that is going to happen. That's why I never asked you to do it. All I asked was that you set aside your differences and stop provoking Rougaru and Warsaw. Let this child grow up here, with the others, and don't punish them for a crime they didn't commit. And let me continue to serve you as Queen, as your equal, as I always have. Trust that I have the best interests of our herd in mind, as I always have."

She growls, the volume of her voice beginning to rise with the anger rising in her chest. "But no. All I've heard so far is how you need to get back at Rougaru, to see my foal gone as soon as possible. You continue to brood, and mope, and snap at anyone who looks at you sideways. The foals are terrified of you. You treat me like a goddamn prisoner. You want peace? You are the only one keeping yourself from having it!"

When Zjeena is done talking, she's breathless. It all came out of her in a rush. It seems unlikely her words will find listening ears, but at least it felt good to get it all off her chest.

ZJEENA

5 YEARS
MARE
FJORD
14.0 HANDS