for the small pearlescent mare time seems to stop. she won’t ever forget the irritation and disgust that he makes no effort to hide on his features. and it was aimed at her. she wasn’t sure she had ever felt so low. her ears twist nervously in the nest of rusty-cream colored mane atop her head as she listens and stands timidly small before him. she knew dahlia would go… she had seen that familiar restlessness months ago in the way her daughters dark eyes watched the sea… maybe she had set out to find her? but she would have left eventually. petal worries about her, but cannot hate herself too much over it. she honestly felt the girls would be better off in the prairie without her.. make more friends and have a chance of becoming a true part of the herd…not an outsider like she was… shamwari would never know the tears that pooled in her eyes and ran like streams down her cheeks when she left them curled sleeping in their thicket like a pair of foals. he only saw her now, separated and uncaring. he did not see her place her lips gently to their foreheads and whisper goodbye that night… nor hear her sobs as she took those first few heartbreaking steps into the surf. but he judged her now. and harshly.
his icy tone is enough to send the gathering tears in her blue eyes down, trailing softly against the warm ivory features of her face. he wouldn’t believe her if she tried to explain and so she doesn’t. and perhaps that breaks her heart most of all. his next words startle her. so he knew? he knew of the war and hadn’t told anyone else? and he had sent jabari away despite it all? she hated the politics. she hated warsaw…. she also was devastated that shamwari didn’t seem at all interested in giving her a moment to tell of where she had been… to explain that she had been to see vita nova and had planned to return to tell him of the war. he had changed.
when the large red stallion sets into motion once again petal can hear her heart pounding in her ears. what is happening? he had never shown this side of himself to her. her petite form shrinks away from him in fear as he bares his teeth. her eyes widen, framed by their golden lashes and she obediently moves in the direction of the shore and the prairie. she is bedraggled and still worn from the swim from tinuvel but she doesn’t dare speak a word in fear of angering him further. her muscles tense and protest when she steps foot in the sea and makes to swim and the pale mare wants to collapse in despair. she musters what strength she has left though, seeing shamwari’s head waving angrily behind her and departs the meadow