Zjeena had a rough couple of days after her return from the Bay. She's done a lot of thinking and sorted through a lot of emotions. The emotions remain, stacked in the neat little pile, to be dealt with in turn. She has burned with anger, wept with loss, ached with hurt, and cowered in guilt. She's been ashamed, wounded, hateful, and several other things. Her mind spun in endless circles, feeling so much it almost feels like nothing at all now.
She awaits Rougaru's return, eager to know of his victory or his defeat, and to talk. Regardless of the outcome, Zjeena has a lot to say. The level-headed Zjeena returns, but standing on much different ground. For so long, she has bottled everything up. She's let Liland get away with a lot, first in the name of love and then in the name of diplomacy, but all it's gained her is a load of heartache and abuse. It's time for this to end. She will not say goodbye to more of her children. She won't leave Akela behind to raise a new foal in the Bay, only to leave them behind too. No. There are only so many children Liland can take from her. She's had enough.
Liland hopes for another son because he's tarnished the relationships with the ones he has. This isn't Zjeena's problem. He's had his bit of fun. He got to mount her one last time. His seed will spread to Paradise and beyond. Isn't that good enough? Liland has made one mistake after another and at every turn he's found a way to blame someone else, or make someone else pay. Zjeena will no longer pay for Liland's mistakes. It's time for Liland to face the consequences of his own actions.
Just as it's time for Zjeena to face the consequences of her own.
The small mare patrols the western shoreline, keeping a weather eye on the horizon. She looks for any signs of Rougaru's return on each pass up and down the beach. The sun is hot on her back and she sweats through the thickness of her northern coat. Anxiety has kept her from eating. Sleep has evaded her tortured mind so Zjeena tires, but doesn't relent. When she rounds a bend and spots Rougau on the beach, her legs begin to tremble.
Zjeena stops a few lengths away, her posture unsure, and her ears turned by guilt. Rougaru looks almost as uncertain as she feels. He is covered in sand, some of it stained red from recent wounds. He looks exhausted. "Rougaru", Zjeena croaks. Tears begin to fall unbidden. "I'm so sorry.", she cries. "I'm so, so sorry." The mare lowers her head, thick mane falling over shining eyes and clinging to cheeks damp with guilty tears. "I hurt you.", she squeaks.
Zjeena doesn't go to him. She leaves the distance, and span for him to cross if he feels her apology is worth his touch.