Falls

As she watched Rivaini fly forward to reunite with Iscariot, Faolain discovered that it was difficult to hold still. She found herself uncomfortable here, as though she were an audience to something private, and in many ways she was not wrong. She was an outsider; there was nothing that bound her to Iscariot or Rivaini. She was not family. She could hardly consider herself a friend. She had known the two of them for less than two days, and the inky mare knew scarcely anything about either of them. She didn’t even know why she had helped them, though she did not regret that decision. Discomfort twisted her stomach and for a few moments Faolain considered leaving them, having completed her mission of reuniting the siblings. Would they notice her absence?

Did she care if they did?

It was odd, finding that she did care. In front of her, she watched as Rivaini inspected Iscariot - for injuries, perhaps, or to convince herself she wasn’t dreaming - and Faolain felt as though she were standing outside of a bubble that encapsulated the reunited siblings. It was not the bubble that bothered her. Truthfully, she held no resentment or jealousy toward either sibling on the cold shore. It was envy that she felt, in an innocent form absent of bitterness. What she was witnessing was unfamiliar to her, alien, but for Rivaini and Iscariot it looked so natural and easy that she felt maybe she was the one in the bubble. The odd one out. Cut off, unable to experience meaningful connection. It was a lonely thought, but the bubble was familiar, and she had felt disconnected like this before. The only novelty now, as she stood in the bleeding shadows of the trees behind her, was the want. She wanted to break out of her bubble, to feel a connection like Rivaini and Iscariot had, and for the first time in her life Faolain was scared that that would be impossible.

She had never wanted to connect before. The slender black mare had lived her entire life dissociated, a cold and calculating machine that mimicked others so they would not suspect she was different. It had never felt wrong, and she had never been lonely. She enjoyed interacting with others, and she was rarely compelled to do anyone harm, which led her to believe she was not broken. She had always thought she was just missing a piece, but the empty slot in her being had never caused problems so she never sought to fill it. She enjoyed her life in emotional solitude, and she thought she would do so until she died, and that had never bothered her until now.

Iscariot and Rivaini were deeply connected, and Faolain was simultaneously being pulled in by the emotional hurricane and thrust out by it. She was struggling to keep her bearings. She wanted to run away, but she was afraid she might be swept away if she moved. Her dark amber eyes swept the beach for something, anything, to distract her and pull her back into herself, but her gaze was magnetically drawn to Iscariot, who was looking at her. She held his gaze for a long moment, and gradually her world began to calm down. Everything was okay. Everything was as it should be. Iscariot and Rivaini were reunited, and Faolain was alone.

As it should be.

But that wasn’t true. She started to turn away, to resume her life as it had been, but that was no longer possible. Things had changed, but she couldn’t tell just yet how they had changed, she only knew it would not be the same if she turned and left now. It would not go back to normal. It would not be… correct.

She watched Iscariot, her face betraying nothing, but she did not want to hide from him. She did not know what was correct. She did not know how to go back to normal. Faolain knew that if she looked away, the storm would return, and perhaps it would never let her go. Breaking gaze, turning away, were no longer options, so instead she strode forward. Her small velvet muzzle extended to her ivory friend, and his whiskers tickled her nose as she gave him a bump of greeting that felt absurdly normal considering the circumstances of her emotional turmoil. "Hello again," she said.

FAOLAIN