Falls

The pale stallion scarcely felt the chill that hung in the air as his companion spoke, and let go of the fears that had never been far from his thoughts. That Faolain was lost and unable to find his sibling, that perhaps Rivaini had returned to the sea and their old home. Instead he hung on the dark mare's every word, taking comfort in the truth that lay behind her words. Rhadra, too, had suffered trials - and yet had emerged from them with her apparent compassion intact. It was evidence that he need not let the difficulties in life harden his heart - that even those who chose kindness over cruelty could not only survive, but also find a place for themselves in this world.

Iscariot's father would have had him believe otherwise. It was the buckskin stallion's belief that the strong existed to trample the weak; that his ruthlessness was an obligation to keep their bloodlines free of flaws such as the frail son Iscariot's mother had borne. It was a bleak outlook that painted a world in which the perlino could never belong, so it meant everything to meet one whose views appeared to contrast it so sharply.

Iscariot chuckled throatily when Rhadra mentioned her sister, recalling the times that Rivaini had spoken of him with exasperation as well. The memories filled him with a strange mixture of joy and sorrow; he missed the silver bay more than he could begin to express with words. Edging slightly closer to the draft-like mare, Iscariot sought to lose himself again in the tale that she spun. The Peak sounded wonderful the way that Rhadra spoke of it, but the stallion knew without visiting that it could never be a home to one such as him, even if he was welcomed willingly. His weak hind legs could never endure all the climbing that living on a mountainside would have required.

So what was it that he sought? Where could Iscariot ever belong?

He thought on the mare's question for a long time before replying, his pale eyes watching the endless tumble of water in the greater falls. "For as long as I can remember," the creamy male began in his soft voice. "- all I've ever wanted is to belong somewhere. But I believed that if my own family didn't want me, there was no-one in the world who would. Only my sister, Rivaini, ever led me to challenge that view." He glanced at his new friend - knowing that she would not understand - and sought to explain. "I was to be my father's heir, but from birth my hind legs have been weak, scarcely able to bear the weight of my body. And for that I endured years of condemnation - I don't want land or power or anything. I just want to feel as if my life has some worth."

If he'd answered the question more directly, Iscariot would have said that it was family that he sought. But as he confessed his innermost doubts and desires to Rhadra, it occurred to Iscariot that perhaps it was something spiritual he sought after all: to live at peace with himself. And while the damage that self-doubt and self-recrimination had wrought could not be undone in a single day, it was time to begin the slow process of exorcising those darkest parts of himself.