Falls

Hawke

x^aisy/ six / grullo tobiano / mixed breed / 15.3hh

In the days that followed the painted grullo’s encounter with Cain, shi awaited the crushing burden of sorrow with bated breath - but it never came. Some fundamental part of Hawke felt changed since their brief but emotional exchange - as if by offering company and compassion to a creature as heartbroken as hirself, shi had freed them both from their burdens of their grief. In a way, standing before Cain had been like looking into a mirror; the taupe-colored equine had seen the truth of hir self-destructive behavior, and was determined to change it. So instead of succumbing to the instinct to isolate hirself in order to avoid the potential of more pain, Hawke found hirself wandering the more populated parts of the Crossing . Searching for something without being entirely certain what it was that shi sought.

Perhaps this was because the grullo had spent so much time wandering without a purpose or direction that shi no longer knew how to find one.

As the sun’s single eye peeked over the edge of a pinkened sky, Hawke approached the pool beneath the Falls and dipped hir dark head to drink. The sight of hir reflection gave the androgynous creature pause, however, and for a moment shi could only stare as the warm wind of hir breath stirred faint ripples on the water’s surface. Though the features that shi saw were familiar - the inky tendrils of forelock flowing around the twin obstacles of hir ears, the sunken eye on one side that was half-concealed beneath a drooping lid - the hope that softened the once-harsh planes of hir face was not. It was like gazing at a slate-colored version of hir sire. And as the last pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place, Hawke plunged hir muzzle into the water to drink deeply, so shaken that hir knees buckled threateningly.

Daughter of Hollowpoint. That had been the identity the mouse-colored creature had clung to desperately through the years of hir existence. After all, shi’d had precious little else to hold onto; only the memory of the painted stallion who had loved hir had served to sustain Hawke through sorrow and solitude. Now as shi lifted hir head slowly - knees abruptly folding beneath hir lean figure - shi understood that even that truth had been a lie. The strange blend of scents that identified hir; one that matched neither mare nor stallion, but seemed to linger between both. The inexplicable aggression that sometimes flared within hir. And the way that the Vulcans had treated hir - not as a prospective sister, but as a potential threat; a creature who could not be trusted. Even the uncertainty of the strangers whom shi had met; the long pause that preceded conversation, the wariness that was often evident in their eyes. And the rejection that shi had faced time and time again.

Because shi was so different that few could fathom a place for hir in their world.

Until recently, this revelation would have irrevocably crushed Hawke; hir existence had ever been a precarious balance of sorrow and hope, of despair and dreams. And even now - as strong as shi had become - the grullo still struggled against the weight of the truth, turning away from the water on legs that suddenly struggled to support even hir too-thin figure. But shi moved with confident and continuous strides regardless - at least until shi had gained the sanctuary offered behind the curtain of a willow’s drooping limbs. Only there did Hawke succumb to a fleeting moment of weakness, neck slumping so low that hir dark lips brushed the soil’s surface. It had been one thing to feel as if shi had imposed hir own exile, but to know that solitude might not be a choice but an inescapable truth was more than Hawke could bear.

And yet…

The mouse-colored creature’s head lifted a fraction, hir ears turning forward in response to the course of hir thoughts. Cain had surely known what shi was - or at least suspected the differences that set hir apart. And even so, he had offered his home in the Desert to hir without qualifications. If nothing else, shi could take the stallion up on his offer, and live as a friend amongst his family. But in truth, Hawke longed for the more that shi had glimpsed in his mention of that family - for bonds as close, as unbreakable, as those he’d shared and lost only to death itself. She didn’t quite define hir need for love as such - after all, such emotions had evaded the grullo since hir sire’s departure from the islands. But the fierce need to surrender hirself to someone was still there, slumbering beside the remnants of the child Hawke had once been.

*hir and shi are gender-neutral pronouns