Even Rigel's attempt to comfort me in the new knowledge that my wanton behavior had not been limited to Antares did not soothe the burning shame. It was not that I regretted the night we had spent in one another's sweet embrace, but the shock of going from a chaste maiden who scarcely considered such things to one whose deflowering was talked about casually was startling. I wanted to duck my head beneath the vast sands of these dunes so that I might never again hear of it from the mouth of someone other than my husband.

As a daughter I was kept far away from my father's couplings, for good reason, not that I had wanted to be near to them. The guttural noises that had spilled forth in my ecstacy had not been something I had thought to control, believing them to be for my husband's ears only.

Still, we quickly move on to other things, and he waits patiently for me to stumble my way through the explanation of my faith. Hardly had I fallen silent than his voice rose to fill the quiet, and a small private smile lurks at the corner of my lips at his familiar speech. I listen silently as he weaves the description of First Wife into the air, and I smile at the intention behind the words. Some of my same protestations from months prior rise to mind, but I do not interrupt the star-studded brother.

It is well and good for me to be his chosen, for I feel that in my heart. But what good is it for him to name me my equal, save in the duties I had already mentioned? Surely Antares would not allow me to stride forth and make alliances? Or to venture to the crossing isle on his behalf to gather more to our ample table? Certainly, I would not go out to find myself, other husbands, as he may other wives. As pretty as it was to be Soul Sewn, it did not appear to have any additional weight to me, not that I was certain that I wanted it. His adoration was all that I wanted, and the rest I was certain that I could endure, as long as I had that.

Rigel continues, assuring me that I, above all, would hold the power to sway him in his beliefs and decisions. This too seemed right. Our time-locked together had been brief, but I had not been blind to the things that seemed to gouge the right reaction from him. I was new to the sway of my hormones and the parts of my body that he excited, but I had spent my entire life learning how to manipulate my body for want of admiration, and I was determined to learn this dance too. If it would be my only tool against the overwhelming tide of the season rut, I would learn to employ the skill to my use to keep my Husband close.

His words echo my thoughts, speaking of a Wife's ability to please her Husband and my eyes once again find the small plants beneath my folded knees. Eagerly he assures me that I will have a place in the state affairs, alongside my Husband and his brothers. The thought of Antares having his family to accompany him allows a bittersweet ghost of a smile across my lips. My family did not rely on one another as my Husband appeared to do with his brothers and even if I had given myself the option of taking someone with me, there was no one I would have brought. The feeling leaves me lonely and I nibble at the leaves in distraction.

Rigel's voice rises again to explain to me that my position as Antares' side may afford me my own opinion in court, which is an intriguing idea, although I find the thought of it mildly intimidating. Between the two brothers of Mira, I had already been given a more thorough education in the space of a few days than I had in months of tutelage at home.

After a pause, he speaks again mentioning the jealousy that I had not done well to hide and my fluted ears tip back in apprehension, sure that he will scold me for behavior not befitting a wife. Instead, he assures me that he will keep my confidence and I nod in thanks. He goes on to imply that a husband would not force his will upon his wife, and it takes me a moment of quiet thinking to understand what he means. In my faith, we were taught that it was not force if it was her duty to him, even if her will did not align. The concept of a choice at all times, freely given and without constraint is new and a little daunting to me. I nearly lose myself in the possibilities of such an idea when the talk of my Husband's worthiness as a lover forces me to stifle a smile. As he finishes, proclaiming that it was no victory at all to force his will on an untrained mare, I find myself confused. What training was he speaking of? Those of my vows?

I lose myself in thought for a moment, sorting through my memories to see if I had forgotten anything. His voice begins again, and I lose the thought for a moment, doing my best to honor my Husband by learning of his ways. Rigel cites that I will not take another lover, which I had known from the beginning, for I remembered it from my initial lessons. It had quelled one of the more atrocious rumors that swirled about his people, that they bartered their women's wombs as one might a swath of fertile land. Further, he assures me that Antares would not have sworn his vows for me to take me beneath him for only one night and I do my best to hide the joy on my face that even Rigel might recognize my marriage as one of love, and not duty.

The starry brother rolls into a new position and I raise my gaze to his once more, shifting my position that we were head-on. He speaks of things I do not know of, and my ears flick uncertainly, not entirely sure that I was understanding him. What purpose did a husband have of a wife that would bar him from taking of her? Or one that would prevent his taking of others? It was so ingrained in my head that a wife was subservient to her husband that it took me a long moment to connect all of the dots. They were not speaking of empty power, that of a figurehead over a position of nothing, but of a real, substantiated say in my own life.

Just as quickly as the thoughts of this rise, they dash at the implications such an act would surely have. Would Antares not revile me for curbing his hunger? Resent me for cutting short his access of my form? I, who had been raised of the sands by Allah's hand to fit Antares' need?

I shudder at the thought of him looking upon me so darkly and shake my head slightly. "No. Such things are not our place. And even if they were, surely my Husband would hate such a heavy hand to chafe his being!"

I raise my gaze to his again, my nostrils flaring. "It is not his ability to take others that wounds me, brother. It is the knowledge that I would not be enough to quench the fire that Min places inside of him, and that he must seek of others what I cannot soothe in him. That I might look upon him and know that he had spent the night with his affections laid on another's skin while I wait alone with naught but his assurances to sustain me?"

Disgusted by my own show of weakness I turn away for a moment, shaking my head. "It is not fair to burden you with my fears. I appreciate all that you do, brother, but you should not be forced into hearing confession of my sinful doubts."

I shake my head once more and meet his gaze again, not pausing long enough for him to placate me with pretty assurances. I do not need his sympathy or cajoling when I know that I am in the wrong. I should not have blurted such things to my brother. He is no First Wife to whom I should have asked such questions. "Pray tell Rigel, what you mean by an untrained woman?"

In my rush to avoid his sympathy, I latch onto the first question I had thought of during his speech, and issue it as a full stop. "Were there other oaths that I should have taken?"

I twith the soft hide of my flank in irritation. It had been far too long among the wild people of these lost isles, and I envied my once powerful control of my emotions. The newness of everything combined with the hormones of my awakened body were a heady combination that wreaked havoc on my normally cool composure.