your love and my due diligence
The Norns were testing her.
For months she’d lingered in the very heart of the Ridge, after returning to find strangers upon the shores of her home. In her search for Björn, the buckskin mare had come across one in need of her help, and though her heart yearned for her king, she could not leave the red paso fino to die.
The Ridge itself taunted her, carrying his familiar scent to her on the wind, just as the aching in her chest began to settle. But no matter how swiftly, how doggedly she followed what she took as signs, she never caught sight of the rugged grullo stallion. Tricksy as they were, the Norns were not always unkind. For whenever Tigerlily returned to the clearing she shared with Ofelia, the bright-eyed little mare’s smile would lift her spirits.
There is no shame in hoping. It keeps the flame alive. Maybe he’s looking for you too.
- - - - - - - - -
Tigerlily did not doubt Björn, but their parting had been bitter. Torn up with grief, hot with rage and burned by shame that she had been brought down by none other than Nyimara, Tigerlily had begged him to leave her, for fear of Björn getting hurt, and willingly she had trailed along after Ruger, to a place where the trees grew so close together that they blotted out the sun.
‘Just go Björn! Leave me.’
It hadn’t been the first time she’d said such things to him. When he’d come to find her, after she’d questioned him in front of the herd… ‘Go!
Just leave me!’ But Björn hadn’t listened then. Not even after she’d calmed a little, and begged him with a sad sigh. (Please, go. The others need you.) And still, still he’d stayed with her in that little grove with its burbling stream he’d shown her when he’d first brought her home, because she was hurting, and he didn’t want to leave her alone.
Once, when she’d stirred from a dream, she’d confessed to Ofelia a secret fear she’d never allowed to escape before. ‘There is nothing physical that binds us – no child – what if--’ Ofelia had cut her off.
Do not doubt. Blood alone doesn’t bring about belonging. The young, injured mare had said nothing else, and had drifted off to sleep. Tigerlily had been stirred into wakefulness, and spent the pre-dawn hours pondering with a serene smile curling at the corners of her pale lips.
- - - - - - - - -
Björn had found her in the storm, distraught and despairing. And they had
connected. The path laid before them was strewn with rocks, and took many twists and turns. But despite everything, Tigerlily was convinced that there was no-one else for her. And Ofelia was right. The unborn child that Tigerlily had been carrying even before she met Björn didn’t change anything. Björn hadn’t rejected her for that. It had remained an unspoken thing between them, even to this day, the buckskin mare had never felt pressured to explain herself. That it was the actions of Björn’s brother that had caused her to lose the foal was something Tigerlily could never hold against him.
What had given her the courage to face the monster that had lived in her nightmares for years, believing him to be a threat to Björn? It had been a catalyst, her rushed and reckless defence of Björn. Perhaps much might have been different, across the Island Chain, if Tigerlily had run the other way.
Perhaps much might have been different if Björn had made the easy choice not to make a stand for what he believed in – to fight for what was
right, instead of fighting for the wanting of cruel, twisted hearts that were ever greedy.
- - - - - - - - -
They had comforted one another after, each seeking to unburden the other for the guilt and blame they carried unnecessarily.
It was not your fault, my Tígrisdýr, some men are just broken.
You are not to blame… and you are not responsible for the bloodshed he craves.
Tigerlily had shared the horrors of her past with Björn, and as tragic his alliance with Warsaw had been to her, she made no attempt to convince him to break with the brute, only warning that Warsaw would turn on him eventually. But Björn had broken his alliance anyway, knowing the risks. And why? Tigerlily was not so naïve or self-centered as to believe it was just for her. But part of her hoped.
(They’d confessed more than just their grief and guilt in that leafy glade.
Love. Something new and unexpected for the both of them.)
It was love that had given Tigerlily courage, and Björn strength. Love had turned the tides of war.
Just like Ofelia, Tigerlily had nothing save for the love she kept alive in her heart. It was not a bitter parting between the two mares, for they both had something to live for,
someone, and they would find their way home, if they trusted in themselves. Ofelia had already begun limping along the shoreline when Tigerlily splashed into the shallows. She lifted her head high, and once the current had her, the buckskin mare allowed it to carry her from the coast of Atlantis. Perhaps she would cross paths with Ofelia again. Perhaps not. There were many uncertainties in life, but one of the few things Tigerlily was certain of was that she would never forget the time she’d spent with the little red mare.
Much of what was broken in her had been healed, and she was stronger now, strong enough to face anything.
- - - - - - - - -
The Norns
were testing her.
How else could she explain that it was upon the cold beach of the Inlet that she washed up – a place that held only terror and heartbreak for her? And what’s more, there came Björn’s scent on the wind. Tigerlily nearly snarled at the cruelty of her predicament. Had she not suffered enough? What had she done to deserve this? She tipped her head to the sky, ready to pour out her rage from where she lay, the frigid waves still lapping at her flank.
But then, a figure appeared from the mists, coalescing before her amidst the rocks and sand. The breath caught in her throat, but Tigerlily spurred herself into movement, rising to her hooves.
“Örlögin leiða mig aftur til þín,”she breathed, her blue eyes bright, shining with faith and wonderment. The phrase she uttered was one she’d heard spoken between a fire-and-ice pair she’d become acquainted with on Luthien, in the dark, difficult days that had come after the war had ended. Much had been lost. Most thought nothing was certain any longer. For Tigerlily, one thing had been certain.
After all, her heart was a compass, and the scarred stallion she’d been seeking, who stood before her now was her True North. Tigerlily would always be drawn to Björn.
The Norns have shown her this, before, and they remind her now…Tigerlily would not waste this blessing.
“Hugrakkur Bjarndýr Konungur minn,” she said, as she stepped to close the distance between them, thankful in her heart for the kindness of the young stallion (who claimed kinship with the grullo king) in the Forest, and how under the watchful eye of his companion, he’d taught her a little more of their native Northern tongue.
“Your Tígrisdýralilja has returned to you, and I vow nothing but death shall tear me from your side.” And, out of respect, and beneath the weight of a myriad of intense emotions, Tigerlily bowed her head before him, unable to say anything further for the trembling of her lips, and the frantic beating of her heart in her throat.