At the mention of the Desert, there’s a little fluttering sensation in Evren’s belly “Ah, yeah… maybe someday,” she says with a nod and a smile, though her tone lacks enthusiasm. The Desert will always be her homeland, but it has been tarnished by too many traumatic memories. And then there is Persephone, and the family they have built together, with the girls’ sire right next door. Evren could not leave the Forest if she wanted to: not right now, at least.
When Vita Nova names her numerous children and reveals the reason she had looked so unwell the last time they’d seen each other, Evren’s russet eyes widen a little, first with admiration, and then with sympathy. “Wow, five is enough for anyone. No wonder your last one took it out of you,” she says, and thinks back to that night she had seen her, the moonlight glinting off the contours of her thin body and her pale eyes glazed with exhaustion. Knowing now that Vita had put her life at risk and braved the seas in spite of her condition in order to stop the bloodshed makes Evren’s heart hurt, but it also makes her thoughts spin with unanswered questions.
Then, finally, they reach the crux of the conversation. Cold dread dampens the embers within Evren at the mention of Warsaw’s name, but she remains collected, listening to Vita intently with as much direct eye contact as she can muster. When Vita has finished, Evren is silent for some time, battling internally with strong conflicting emotions that struggle for dominance. She knows that whatever she says now will determine the course of this meeting, and potentially their friendship. Her arguments with Shamwari come to mind; it’s a miracle they’ve managed to save their relationship after all the hurtful words they’d thrown at each other.
“Love... is complicated,” she says eventually, her eyes drifting thoughtfully to the turbulent surface of the stream. “After Dad died, and Koray… I had a stillborn. It was too much. I left the islands and fell in with a bad crowd for a while. I did things I’m not proud of. It helped me feel alive again, I guess. Plus there was this stallion… handsome as hell, but stubborn too, and our relationship was… passionate, but rough. We fought all the time, and then we had a kid together: my first living one.
“I named him after Dad, and I loved him so much it hurt. One day, when he was still just a baby, he got caught up in a bad situation and I almost lost him forever. That was the wake-up call I needed. I left that place, and those horses, and Han’s father. I took my child back to the islands: to home.” Evren lifts her eyes to meet Vita Nova’s gaze. Her face is solemn, but her eyes shine with emotion. “I know what it’s like to love someone so flawed. But also, I know what it’s like to remove someone from your life when they’re no longer good for you, or the ones you care about.”
She sighs heavily. “If we’re being honest… I’m not going to lie, I’ve been silently angry at you for so long. Knowing you were the Queen of someone who had harassed and hurt my family over such disgusting, outdated beliefs... it felt like a betrayal. I didn’t understand it, especially after all we went through with Koray. I still don’t, to be honest.
“You’re a grown mare, Vita. I can’t tell you what to do, so I’m not going to tell you to leave him. All I know is… you were my first real friend. You’re like a big sister to me. You’re my daughters’ Aunt.” Here Evren’s voice breaks, and her composed mask slips a little. “I lost you for years; I don’t want to lose you again. But I can’t… I can’t ever give you and Warsaw my seal of approval. I just can’t. And I highly doubt Persephone could ever forgive him for what he’s done either.”
With her throat tight and tears threatening to spill, Evren takes a moment to steady her breathing and collect her spinning thoughts. Then, in a small voice, she says, “Where do we go from here, Vita? Both for us, and for our families?”
11; mutt; bay tobiano; 15.3hh |
