Bright as new fallen snow; (OPEN) Posted on November 2, 2020 at 03:29:52 PM by Tuari
Tuari was at a loss. Everytime she turned around, every decision she made, always there was something wrong. Now, she almost felt that the fates were laughing at her. From one uncle to another, both her children were sired by her own uncles and though none had ever said a cross word to her, she was sure that the whole Inlet herd was laughing at her. At the very least, the rumors would fly. She was sure. Had Requiem never told her the truth, perhaps she could have continued in silent bliss, admiring the bright color of Torvi’s coat and perhaps then she would be the doting mother the girl deserved. She was not. Despite her best attempts, all she could think of gazing at the innocent eyes of her young daughter was that it was her own uncle that was her mate. Torsten. Of course he did not understand it, could not comprehend the horror of realization that had hit her like icy water across her back. Torsten could not be her mate.
Over and over she tried to reiterate to him that they could not continue, could not be the family that both had wanted so desperately. Over the course of months, the thought of his touch turned her stomach and bile rose at the thought of the lust that lingered in his eyes. She had tried, for the sake of Torvi, but with each passing day that desire to run away from it all was too much.
The death of Warsaw was the final straw that broke the proverbial ties that held her here. She had thought of asking Vita Nova if she would take care of Nukpana. Though the girl appeared nearly normal in all other aspects of life except that not once in her young life, not even the smallest sound ever fell past her lips. A curse. The girl was her curse.
Tuari blamed her own soul when the wolves came and ravaged the herd. Blamed herself when she found the barely breathing remains of Nukpana lying bloodied and broken amid the tangle of torn dirt and pawprints. Numbly, she watched as the small girl drew her last desperate breaths, watched as the life ebbed and stilled in her small pale body. The pain and heartache that should have been there was no more. All she could see was her own suffering and wish more than anything that it was herself whose eyes grew clouded and devoid of sight. Instead of feeling the pain of a mother’s loss, Tuari could only stare at her broken daughter.
And then she is gone. To the oceans she finds herself, half hoping that the tides would drag her down into their watery depths to never again resurface and draw breath. But the gods had a cruel way of toying with her still. Instead of giving the tormented girl the peace she sought, the sea spat her out on the shores of the island she often caught herself staring at as a foal. There was a time, she imagined that all her troubles and insecurities would be erased should she ever manage to find those distant shores. Never did she find the courage in herself to venture there but now, now the fates set her free.
Only once did she gaze back in the direction of the island of Tinuvel. Only once did she think of the daughter she left behind or the life she had once lived. As much as she hated the choices she had made in her life, she did at least know that regardless of what happened, she was not alone there. Now, now, she was faced with the complete unknown. No more was there a wise leader to rely on for judgement and wisdom. No longer did she have the security of guardians watching over as she slept or the warmth of Torvi’s skin pressed against her own. The air on this island was hot and humid, thick and suffocating if she allowed her mind to linger on it. For teh first time in a long time, fear sparked in the corner of her silver blue eyes. Small ears twist to and fro amid the water logged tangles of her silver white mane. Despite the warmth of the island wind, a shiver of cold causes her skin to shudder and despite herself she gives her creamy colored pelt a quick shake. Timidly, she ingresses further away from the water’s edge and into the comforting canopy of thick treetops above. It does not take her long until the overwhelming odor of many equines floods her nostrils. Pushing through the low hanging branches of a thick elm tree, she finds herself facing a wide open meadow of thick grasses still green with summer richness. A warm smile spreads across her ash dusted lips as slowly, the worry and fear and anxiety begins to dissipate and instead is replaced with something akin to hope. As casually as possible she dips her head, ashen nostrils flaring to inhale the sweet scents of clover and sweet grass as she passes. Here and there, she pauses to grab a mouthful, relishing in the richness of the flavors that linger in each morsel. For the first time in a long time, her thoughts no longer linger on what plagues her mind and instead the faintest rays of hope begin to gleam. Perhaps this was the fates offering her a new beginning… a reprieve for all that she had suffered through over the past years. A new start far from the reach of family and the sins of her past.