The Lost Islands
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Meadow

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there's something tragic about you
Posted on November 9, 2020 at 08:00:54 AM by Sabriel


SABRIEL

Though she had offered Solomon her forgiveness, it was far more difficult for the silver black woman to forget. Especially given the familiarity of their surroundings. So when the champagne stallion first touched her, she could not help but to flinch away from the physical contact. To tremble, briefly, with an echo of the fear that she’d felt that first day. But when the heat of his breath washed the nape of her neck, the moment of her hesitation passed and Sabriel yielded herself willingly to the tobiano male’s touch. And though the warmth she felt in Solomon’s embrace was not as all-enveloping as what she’d felt when Bondurant had held her close, the brindled mare knew that it could grow… given the chance. It was a revelation, but not one that was entirely welcome.

Confused and conflicted, Sabriel would have pulled away from the stallion - if she did not fear that to do so would break him as thoroughly as she had been broken.

I named him Uriah, Solomon continued after a moment, the syllables carrying a weight of sorrow that she knew all too well. He broke their embrace himself, then - dragging the soft flesh of his lips across one of her cheeks. Sabriel knew that he would taste the salt of her tears along with the sweetness of her skin, and wondered how many the Cove’s ruler had shed. He’s buried not far from the beach… if you ever want to talk to him.” Her blue eyes were full of unspoken questions when they found his in the silence that followed this statement. Did he truly want her back, or was it pity and kindness that led him to extend the offer? And did Solomon, too, dream of what might have been - if both had made their choices differently? Did he believe that there was still a path for them that might end in anything but sorrow? But she wasn’t ready to ask, wasn’t ready to hear his answers.

If they were to be given only this moment, then she would sooner delay its end for as long as possible.

So she curled further into him, as if even the extra second of time this act might add to their inevitable parting was a great treasure. And struggled to keep thoughts of Bondurant from her mind, even as it felt like she was betraying him. It didn’t matter that neither Solomon nor the spotted male held a formal claim over her; leaning into the spotted Cove-king now, Sabriel suspected that a piece of her heart belonged to each. And she knew, as well, that these pieces could never coexist. So she pushed the darkness of such thoughts away for the moment, focusing on the sound of Solomon’s voice in its stead.

He exists for us, Sabriel. Feeling the tight constriction of her throat, the black mare could offer nothing but a nod in response - a gesture that her companion would feel more than he saw. It helped her to bear the burden of her sorrow a little easier, knowing that it was a small price to pay so that she would never forget the dark little colt whose life would have been a gift, had it not been ended before it had truly begun. Regardless of the manner of his conception, she should have seen that then. Inhaling a hitching breath, Sabriel listened as Solomon broke the silence again, offering absolution that the dark woman suddenly did not want.

You weren’t ready and I didn’t listen. Oh, but if only that had been true. A part of her had wanted him then - wanted him with a desperation that had frightened her. And so she’d fought against the feeling, fought against him. And so it was she, more than Solomon, who had hurt them both. “Solomon-” Sabriel began, trying to silence the words that she knew were coming. But the champagne stallion plunged onward, heedless of her attempt to speak. What happened wasn’t your fault. It was mine.

No, no, no.

She would shatter again if she let him leave here believing that he himself had killed Uriah, as surely as if he’d struck the blow himself.“That’s not true, Solomon, I-” The silver black began, forcing her muzzle under his to pull it up. To defy the gravity of the grief and guilt that were not his alone to bear. “I - I did want you then,” she continued, her voice vulnerable and yet somehow fierce. “But I had never felt that way before, and it frightened me. So I tried to escape it - tried to escape you.” Softer now, her words might have been whispers born of the wind. “I still want you now, Solomon. But I - I’m still frightened, too.” It was a difficult confession to make, but the dark mare hoped that he would understand. She wasn’t frightened of him so much as she was terrified of losing herself in him. Right now, curled against the warm, yielding wall of the stallion’s flesh, she barely even recognized who she was.

It wasn’t the same with Bondurant. The spotted bay made her feel stronger, not weaker. And while she’d felt something profound as she drifted off into slumber at his side, it hadn’t threatened to erase everything that she was, or everything that she’d endured. With him, she was still herself… but also more. And that was why it had been so easy to surrender to the most primal of her desires - to throw her fears and misgivings to the wind, and give herself to him. Because she knew that, when it was over, that piece of her that she’d given would either be returned - or replaced by something even greater.

Even so, Sabriel could not help but to wonder if the shard of herself that she sacrificed might not be worth the opportunity to share such a significant moment with the tobiano dun. And if it showed in the way that her teeth grazed lightly - reassuringly - over the vibrant canvas of his skin, then she couldn’t help that, either.

5 | mare | mixed | silver black somatic brindle | 16.1hh


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