she cannot imagine the color of the sun rays that filter through the rock crevices in her sheltered little canyon… the bright shifting oranges and yellows that turn like a kaleidoscope against the walls and on the hard smooth stones beneath her tidy hooves, the glittering iridescence of dust motes stirred from the grass as she grazes in the more open “rooms”… but she does not need to know the color to appreciate of those golden rays.

varajakshi relishes their touch, at midday and afternoon, when they reach down into her sheltered home and stroke her back and sides. the slender mare relaxes then, having come to terms with her situation somewhat, and stands on three legs, the tip of the fourth hoof resting on its toe. her dark red coat shines, deep as a pool of blood, in stark contrast with the white stockings and boldly marked face.

She stands where she usually waits for him, at the mouth of the canyon where there are still walls surrounding her but the smooth stone beneath her hooves starts to become littered with sand that has blown in. it is safe there, just far enough inside the canyon that she cannot be seen, but close enough to its entrance that it will not take him long to find her.

her thoughts are scattered that day as she dozes, the days blurring together in the same way they used to before…. it is something she can live with, for now, because she still does not feel brave enough to venture out into the terra. she is useless, truly, an anvil tethered to the ankle of her abhibhaavak… she worries that his family, his brothers, would reject her… and if they didn’t, there would be others she might displease…. no, it was far safer to remain here, where she could cause no harm and stay safe without constant supervision…. still though, she looks forward to his visits more than she cares to admit.

though varajakshi flits in and out of sleep, her curled ears perk at any sound, eager to recognize the steady hoofbeats and Rigel’s pleasant voice, warning her considerately of his approach. he has been true to his word, keeping all others away from this place… she has grieved her old life, the raajy she had doomed by her defiance, but she has found some enjoyment in this real life… the prospect of tomorrow, again and again, with the steady presence of Rigel to warm her soul as easily and thoroughly as the rays of sun that she so adores.