I guess that's just the price I paid
for the blood red flags
that I walked past everyday

♡
As the winter months passed, I kept expecting to feel the uncomfortable cold, but I never really did. My coat thickened up, and it seemed I received heat from the life in my belly as well. I had yet to meet Bacardi’s other mare, but Bacardi himself always seemed close by to keep me warm if I wanted it. The scent of the Bay’s other residents hung in the crisp air, but I was not yet brave enough to meet them, either. I still wasn’t sure if they wanted to know me; though we shared a territory, I was not part of the warrior mare’s herd, and could think of no reason other than politeness to introduce myself. Still, I wanted to, someday.

As the foal grew, however, I became less concerned with socializing. Aside from my time spent with Bacardi, I had not exactly been a social butterfly since arriving here, but now I seemed even more inclined toward solitude. Mostly it was nerves, I thought; this was my first child, and I was afraid of the inevitable. It didn’t help that this child was somewhat an accident; my hormones had gotten the better of me after moving to Tinuvel, and it did not help that the cold air made the closeness of another body that much more enticing. I did not regret what we had done, but I did often wish I had waited until next season.

But there was nothing to do about it now, and before I really had time to be scared, I was so swollen with child I felt I had to waddle. When my labor began, I was expecting it, and had accepted at that point that I did not have to be ready for this foal - it was coming either way. With a shaky sigh, I left the shelter of the trees in which I most often slept, and walked until I could no longer smell the others of the Bay.

It hurt more than I thought it would, and by the time it was over I was panting with the pain and exertion. My legs were unsteady as I turned to the mottled brown-and-white bundle lying in the snow. My neck was dark with sweat, but I hardly felt the sting of cold air on wet skin as I reached down to clean the painted fur of my newborn son. He was beautiful, and it was easy to forget the ache of labor and all of the fear that had lead up to his arrival.

The colt wobbled to his feet as I groomed him. When he nosed me to nurse, I shifted to let him. Everything now seemed so easy. I could not remember being afraid. As the colt drank, exhaustion from the delivery overwhelmed me and I dozed off.
♡

Soraya