I don't really like myself without you
There was enough things going wrong in his life to throw himself into more drama, but he couldn’t help it. The frustration he felt these last few months felt endless. More things kept piling on top of the others. Each time he began to accept one occurrence another thing brought him back into the dark space of his mind. Kvothe…she deserves happiness, but she would not find that in the male that once took advantage of her. He would give anything to tell her this, but it might just drive her closer into Tyr’s grasp. The Lagoon was wronged him. The bachelors were supposed to be friends of his father, but his death seems to have broken that bond. That or Cullen simply did not care anymore. Perhaps he had never cared in the first place everything has just happened to fall for Warsaw’s favor.
For Ironclad it was much different. He had to work at what he had and even then, lovers still left him. Kvothe was so easily lead away, Cerosi picked Cain over him (not such a big surprise she he had not spent much time with her lately), and even Medusa was playing hard to get (no big surprise there). Depression was pulling him down at a fast rate. It was causing his lack of relationships and his broken bonds. He had to try harder. The kingdom his father built on his blood and sweat had not come easy. He had to do many things to hurt others in order to gain his status. If Ironclad even wanted to achieve the same goal he would have to be more forward. Others would have to listen when he spoke and loyalty had to be built properly. This is why losing Kvothe has been his hardest loss thus far.
The beautiful Friesian has always been his closest companion. She was the loyal one when his relationship with Xiomara was crashing. She came into his life long after Cherokee had disappeared from shame of her betrayal. Kvothe was his first and he was hers. There had to be a reason for all of it. Ironclad dives into the large waves with his eyes closed so the sea water wouldn’t splash in them. He drives forward towards the crossing where he last spotted his tall chestnut beauty. He did not know where she was, or even if her birth had gone okay, but he had to figure their situation out. Closing their story or creating a new chapter. He did not know which it would be.
He reaches the shore of the falls, but a quick movement leaves him in some pain. Some of his wounds have healed from the fight nearly a week ago, but he still had to be careful how much traveling he did. The mighty Valka had done a number of his leg after being previously injured by the strong Solomon. Gingerly, Ironclad precedes forward where his blue eyes search for the mare he seeks. It didn’t take long for the dryness in his mouth to become bothersome. The young stallion turns his path to the roaring falls in the distance. The closer he got, the more he realized someone else was there, but he could not smell them over the strong water smell in the air. His gaze caught the form of the small child first. The boy was a sooty golden color with white markings that didn’t fit the solid mare that tries to usher him away. Ironclad feels the sting of shock as his legs stop.
Frozen where he stands, he just watches the surprised eyes of both horses in front of him. He had wanted to find her so badly, but seeing her child caused him pain. How could their relationship ever be the same? Sure, he knew in the beginning this had not been her choice. Medusa had said so herself and vowed to avenge Kvothe. He had vowed the same thing in the moment. He had wanted to kill that Lagoon stallion. Then he she ran away and he found her with him. She had run to him! ”I don’t know what happened to us…” The words come out as a soft whisper. They weren’t exactly meant for her to answer, but he couldn’t keep quiet any longer. His voice grows in strength. ”Please, you don’t have to hide him from me. I would never harm him.” It was incredibly hard to look at the child, but his words were true. He would never harm a child. It was not his fault he was born. He cannot pick his parents or the choices they make. His eyes lock with Kvothe. ”We had something so special. Kvothe my passion for you was overpowering.” After he speaks his eyes fixate on the colt. ”Do you love him?” Obviously he was talking about Tyr and not the child. Maybe he shouldn’t be so bold. Was he only making the situation worse?
”I-If you love him I understand. I won’t stop you from leaving me…” He chokes as a single tear streams his greying cheek. ”But please let me talk.” His eyes snap shut for a moment of silence. Ironclad feels the subtle shake of his limps and the quivering of his lips. There was no way he could begin his story with this many emotions coursing through him right now. A hoof stomps the ground in aggravation followed by a snort. Slowly, his water filled eyes open back up and find Kvothe’s gaze. ”My father once told me a story of a mare that looked much like you. She was a Friesian, but she was all black.” He changes his position to cock his back leg slightly. ”He said she was ruthless and violent, but the passion they shared was immense. Father said he grew drunk on her power and did things he might not have otherwise just because of her scent.” A shaky sigh leaves his lips before he starts again. ”I feel this way about you. I cannot control myself when you are around, but thankfully you are good. You are sweet and you are caring. Kvothe if I have wronged you please tell me what I did wrong. Even the Lagoon stallion who took you away was probably drunk on your scent. But does he love you Kvothe?” He steps towards her with worry in his eyes.
”I don’t know if what I feel is love, but I do know I want to see you happy. I will protect your son if that is your wish. I will keep anyone from ever touching you again if you wish it. Please, tell me what you want. Tell me who you want. Tell me if the Inlet is still your home.”