PERSEPHONE

Persephone watched as the tears welled up in Evren’s eyes, as her breaths became ragged with sobs. Normally, when she saw Evren cry, Persephone could not stand there without reaching out to her, without trying to offer her some small comfort in her pain, without feeling her heart answer to those cries and twist in its own sympathy. But today she stood there, simply staring.

In that moment, it was difficult to tell whether she ignored them because she was still in shock, still processing the information she had just received, or whether it was because she did not care – could not bring herself to care in that moment, at least not in the same way she always had.

And so she waited. She did not speak, and she did not move. She waited calmly, though she felt little calm inside, for Evren to collect herself enough to speak. When she avoided the question, Persephone shook her head slowly, closing her eyes as she listened. Not important. How could it be unimportant? This man, whoever he was, was important enough to give Evren a child, but not to mention to Persephone.

The rain pattered down on the leaves above and water dripped from her body, but Persephone could barely feel the sensation of the droplets hitting her skin. The apology was what she wanted to hear – she wanted to hear Evren say she was wrong, that she had betrayed her trust and she was sorry for it – and yet it did not make her feel any better. Right now, those words could not quell the sharp, twisting pain in her stomach, nor loosen the thorny knot in her throat.

“I-”

When she spoke, her voice cracked. She felt the tears prick at her own eyes now, and struggled to control the emotion that clawed at her words. She felt like a fool. She took a deep breath and tried again.

“I know that there are some things I cannot give you, that I never will be able to give you. I know that there are things that we cannot give to each other, but I didn’t think that honesty was one of them.”

She looked at Evren, hating the shakiness in her own voice, trying to see the woman she loved.

“If you had told me you wanted a child I could have supported that – I would have supported that. Do I not treat your children like my own? I love them. There is nothing I wouldn’t have done for you, Evren. You only had to ask – to talk to me about it, to tell me how you felt.”

She paused a moment, lowering her gaze as tears welled up.

“Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

all of your demons will wither away

mixed, bay varnish roan, 14.3hh