It took far too long for Faolain to realize Rivaini had spoken. She still felt partially numb, her senses shrouded in fog that was slowly retreating as the day progressed. She hadn’t made the realization that she was nearing the end of her depression, and part of her was still waiting for the cloud to creep back over her at any moment. But her mind was still and relatively peaceful, and once she registered the voice that reached her ears several long seconds ago, she let out a breath she hadn’t known she had been holding.

Had she been waiting for the silver bay mare to disappear, as though she were a dream? Had she thought Rivaini might not want to speak to her? Faolain didn’t know what had taken her so long to hear her lover’s voice. It was as though something tight in her chest finally let go, and she took a deep, shuddering breath.

”I’m sorry,” she said, taking a tentative step forward. She still didn’t have much of an explanation for her absence; ‘I was really sad’ just didn’t seem to cut it, and was also not entirely true, but Faolain did not have words for what she had really been feeling. ”I miss you,” she added, which was true. Even though Rivaini stood in front of her, Faolain still felt the distance between them as a physical wound. She stepped forward again without thinking, subconsciously trying to ease the pain, but the ache of Rivaini’s absence only got sharper as she neared, and she realized this was like resetting a bone. It was going to hurt until things snapped back into place.

She made it until just a few paces away before she had to stop. She wanted nothing but to curl beneath Rivaini’s neck and pretend as though everything were back to normal, but she knew that wasn’t possible. Things had changed when Faolain had retreated so far into herself, and she wasn’t sure how easy it would be to fix them. She had to know how badly she hurt Rivaini, and she also had to be sure she wasn’t going to fall so deeply into the storm again. It did not make sense to apologize, only to repeat the behavior and cause harm again. She had to try to keep her head above water, if not for herself, then for her family.