take what you can Posted on September 3, 2021 at 02:01:36 AM by Rade
to live and burn is
the most exquisite form of self destruction
Pride. Joy. The envy that Rade felt intensified at these emotions that were shared between father and son, chased by a pulsing ache of sorrow. His own sire had never greeted him so gladly, had never embraced him save in the attempt to end his life. Tasting a bitterness like nettles on his tongue, the roan stepped away from the happiness of his companion’s reunion, tucking his head deftly to the side. Though it would most likely be perceived as a defensive reflex— and was, in its own way— the true purpose of this gesture was to veil the anguish in his eyes. To hide the heartache that briefly twisted his expression, and the guilt that softened the hard lines of his face as displays unbecoming of the Lagoon’s leader. As much as his strength had begun to atrophy with age, the scarred palomino’s crown could not withstand the accusation of sentiment, too.
By the time that Carbon spoke, Rade was recovered sufficiently enough to angle his body back towards the pair, battle-tattered ears tipping gently forward. It was a curious thing to see Cain and his son so close to one another, to see not only the similarities of height and heavy build that marked them as family. But even more, it was a wonder to see how similar they were even beyond the physical— the small inclination of Cain’s head that was an echo of Carbon’s own careful respect. The hope in their dark eyes, tempered in the tobiano’s case by wariness and wisdom. The Boss acknowledged that wariness by cupping his chin against his neck and forcing the muscles beneath his bronze-gold skin to loosen. If this came to a fight, such preparations meant little enough in any case. There was no question of what the outcome would be; no question of whose cause the young black would join.
Rade knew how thick the bonds of blood could run. How hopeless it was to try and break them.
His mind flooded with memories of a young tawny boy’s smile, the white-dusted stallion glanced at Carbon. Seeing his brother beneath the stark differences that separated them. And then let his amber eyes drift back to the piebald, secrets swirling in their depths. “Carbon is clever, a son any stallion should be proud of. But he’s wrong about one thing. I didn’t come to see the Desert. I came only to meet you, Cain.” A crease appeared in the smooth skin between Rade’s eyes, deepened as he struggled to find the right words. “Your son has trusted me more than I deserve. More than the Lagoon deserves, given our history. I thought that perhaps his father would be willing to do the same.”
A beat of silence, broken only by the ragged sigh of breath being pushed from his lungs. By the gentle swish of his ivory tail, and the murmur of the waves. “But since arriving here… I’ve realized that I might be wrong, too. That you have no cause to give me anything but doubt, and I have no right to ask for more than that. Our General forced your son from your side, and I don’t doubt that you’ve suffered by the bachelors’ hand before. Cullen was a cruel, and left a legacy that will not be easily overcome.” He hesitated for a moment, thinking of his own son. And how he was not so very different from Debonaire in the end— a father who had failed his son, and whose failure had come with a heavy cost.
“But I can put one thing to rights… perhaps more, given time. Your son’s freedom is his own again. And when I return to the Lagoon, I will do the same for any colt or stallion who was taken against their will. I would prefer that those who come to us, come for the purpose that the bachelors have forgotten for too long. To learn, and leave of their own choice when they are ready to rejoin the world.” Letting silence swallow them again, the old roan waited to hear what his two companions would have to say.
To hear whether his apology and his vow— inadequate as both were to erase the past— would be accepted.