Meadow

Roisin was silent throughout the small eternity it took the stallion to bare his heart— but that silence revealed more than any words she could have spoken. The bold girl he’d known could not be subdued by word or gesture, and the truths that she spoke were just as implacable. Just as he feared, something about her was different; something between them was different. And where seconds before he’d been desperate to speak his part, Iscariot now found himself hoping for a glimpse of the imperious filly who’d become the center of his world. The longer he spoke, the more he needed her to interrupt her with some rebuke or command, if only to prove that this hollow-eyed creature was still his Roi. The one who’d shaken up his quiet little world. The one who gave him courage, and hope.

The daughter of his heart, even if he could never be the father of hers.

Inhaling a shuddering breath in the wake of his confession, the perlino felt both stronger and more vulnerable than he’d ever been before. In that moment, the frailty of his body ceased to exist— because it was the frailty of his heart that broke him the most. His… and hers, too. Because in the pain and doubt that he’d glimpsed during those brief moments that their eyes met, Iscariot relived the first time he’d feared to lose his friend. Only this time, it was his fault; all his fault. Roi had suffered more than enough loss in her short life, and he was supposed to be there to heal those wounds. Instead, he turned out to be no better than the creature who’d sired her. Why should it matter whether or not he’d wanted to leave Roisin? He’d still left, and she had every reason to hate him for it. Every reason to walk away and leave him.

Instead— Don’t you see? He couldn’t; when it came to the best of himself, Iscariot might as well be blind. Just as his companion seemed incapable of seeing herself as she truly was, without the blinkers and fetters of her doubts. What you did for me was meaningful… at least to me. Maybe - maybe you don't see it that way. But I wouldn't be here without you. Stunned as much by this revelation as she’d been by his, the pale stallion waited for her to continue; to clarify what those words truly meant. Because he hadn’t done anything, really. Roisin was where she was— a Vulcan, a warrior— because of her own strength and courage.

With a bound like one of the Peak’s agile goats leaping from one crag to another, however, the young mare moved on to a new topic. And I don’t want you to leave. He listened as she explained that she thought he’d be happier with a real family, as she called herself broken. And felt his ears flick back at that self-deprecating comment, too furious to voice the objections that swirled through his mind. Roi was the furthest thing from broken or worthless in his eyes, and as for not knowing what to do with herself— when had he ever known the same? When had it ever mattered? If there was one thing Iscariot had learned since coming to the islands, it was that life was a tide of its own. No one could ever be certain where it would take them; they could only make the most of what it brought.

I don't know if I can ever give you that. This girl had given him more than he’d ever dared to dream, and he wished that she could see that as clearly as she saw everything else. But it doesn't matter, Iscariot. Not really. Anger surged through him again, irrational and hot as the tears that flowed down his cheeks. "Of course it matters, Roi," Iscariot interjected, the shadow of a smile curling his lips as he realized how much they’d both been changed. How they’d seemed to become more like one another in their separation. "That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time. Everything that you say and feel matters to me... because you matter to me." Both his voice and his expression softened, and the slender male leaned forward to press his forehead to the curve of the sabino’s neck. From there, he murmured into the russet-gold canvas of her skin.

"I already have a little girl of my own. And it's never mattered to me whether she’s mine by blood, because she’s mine in my heart. I'd follow her anywhere."