Becoming Seventy IP: 176.252.69.178 Posted on April 3, 2022 at 08:37:06 AM by crampton99
The Lament of a Seventy-Year-Old
I used to leap about on the dancing floor
Jive and twist or whatever you please,
But now after climbing up a few stairs
I have aches and pains in my knees.
I used to be able to hear the soft steps
Of a stalking and murderous cat.
Was there somebody at the door just now?
My hearing-aid battery's gone flat!
I used to have long and flowing locks
They grew with an outstanding vigour -
But now my forehead is longer
And my bald patch is getting much bigger!
My beard it was full, like a pirate of old,
It was black and alluring and tight,
But now it is so sparse and wispy
And each chin-hair is perfectly white!
My teeth they just shone from my stunning smile
And they gleamed both above and beneath,
But despite all my brushing they are now looking dull -
More amalgam in there than real teeth!
I was peaceful and somnolent, eight hours a night
I slept like a log yes I had a -
Quite restful repose, but now I get up
Four times every night - it's my bladder!
I used to be able to see the leg hairs
On a bee, fifty paces away,
But I'm waiting to hear from the hospital -
I'll get my cataracts seen to, one day.
And at last I have reached my threescore and ten,
And my pension it comes on the dot.
I could sit and bemoan all by bits going wrong -
Shall I do that? I would rather not.
I could sit and stagnate and reminise,
But that's not in my repartee.
There is plenty of life in this old dog yet -
But I just have to rush off to pee!
Colin Rampton (UK)
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