“I had business in Salem.” He replied, his tone carefully delivered. His blue eyes settled on Riesling, no matter how much it hurt him to look at her (briefly he remembered how beautiful he’d thought her the night he’d been fool enough to think she’d care for him). He didn’t bother telling her it was another stallion’s mare he was seeking out. That he needed a friend. That he was suffering and trying to look strong for them and didn’t know how long he could keep doing it. Her pointed tone regarding the Prairie’s emptiness was enough to almost bring a rise out of him in return.
But he had sense enough to keep himself checked, even as worn down as he was, to control himself in front of Claret.
He glanced down at her, then looked back at Riesling. “Darshan is in the Badlands. She’s been raising a child she had with the stallion who leads there.” He didn’t know whether Riesling was particularly close to Darshan or not. He didn’t know if Balor had told Riesling he was leaving to find her when he’d initially disappeared from the Prairie. But all the same, Darshan had been a part of her family at one point, and she deserved to know. Maybe they were closer than he knew.
Of course.. there was more.
“Although… it appears Balor sired a foal from a mare the Badlands.” Zevulun hesitated only briefly, considering Claret was in listening range, but decided the news was too important to keep from sharing with Riesling while she was finally letting him talk to her. “The mare had begged me to free them, and when the stallion dangled the freedom of three of his mares in front of me-“ unable to help himself, disgust slipped into his tone as bewilderment flashed across his face. The idea of being in a position to control someone’s very life and freedom was a disturbing one, to him.
Of course, when he’d been a part of Mariael's Queensguard, hadn’t his sister started attempting to populate the Bay by some means similar to that? An unease rippled through Zevulun. He had always been on Oswin’s side of that argument, which was the only reason he’d taken longer returning to the Prairie, as he’d needed to pay the Peak a visit before finally returning home from his travels.
“I chose her and the filly. He told me Darshan is free to go when she pleases, and I thought…” Well, Zevulun had thought many things. Maybe Darshan had found some kind of happiness with the Badlands stallion and their foal and, thinking of how sad she’d been, he didn’t want to be the one that got in the way of it. Maybe he wasn’t in a place of emotional growth at the moment to deal with Darshan being back in the Prairie, knowing Balor had left looking for her and would never return. Of course, all of these were things he couldn’t share with Riesling, so he just told a part of the truth. The biggest part.
“I just thought it was important that Balor's daughter could come and grow up with us here. She won't… she won't be able to know him, but,” he glanced down at Claret and felt his heart seize, thinking of that sweet little red girl’s face, “But she can know the rest of her family. That’s something, right?”
He looked back at Riesling and, even though he knew it was stupid, he felt himself hope that maybe.. maybe she’d approve. Maybe she’d see he was trying to be good and do right by Balor’s memory.
(Maybe it was wrong of him to look at her with puppy-dog “Did I do good?” eyes in the hopes she’d absolve the sins he felt such guilt for.)
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