Posted on May 18, 2022 at 05:13:06 PM by TAVAS
And the cold lonely air. On the rock restless seas. She couldn't stop shivering. Despite the warmth in her muscles from the swim, and even after her golden coat had dried, her slight frame shook uncontrollably every time she stood still for too long. It made her heart race and her breathing quicken. Suddenly, Tavas felt crippled by this looming anxiety. But every time she felt it was growing to be too much, she'd turn to look at sweet Ramiel, and his soft and kind expression would quell her nerves, at least to a manageable amount. She realized then that she couldn't do this without him. They trekked on through the territory, and memories flashed through Tavas' mind. What it was like to be a young filly, growing into 'marehood' here. When she first met Requiem.... The first time she saw Solomon here... How full it used to feel with Warsaw's large herd. Sleeping curled up next to Vita Nova's warm side in the worst of winter. Watching Levatice and Ironclad be born, and then Brunhild. So much time had passed. It was foolish for her to think her siblings would be waiting for her. Tavas smiled weakly when Ramiel made nice, reassuring comments. But even his confidence couldn't dispel the dread growing inside of her. "They're not here." She finally croaked, as they circled through the woods and returned to the black-pebble beach, farther down the shore from where they arrived. The palomino mare breathed a long sigh of defeat, and tears welled in her gold-flecked eyes. She had no idea where they could be. Were they even still alive? That thought pushed the tears to spill, and suddenly, she was sobbing, wailing. After some time she finally got a handle on herself, and her breathing became less erratic. "It was stupid to think they'd be here and everything would be fine. So stupid." She wasn't their dam, but Tavas couldn't shake this intense feeling of responsibility over them. Maybe she got that from her mother, maybe from Shamwari. But when both of them refused to return to this place, and face the painful memories here, she did. She thought it would be worth something. She thought she owed it to her brothers and sisters to give them explanation. But there was no one here for her. Feeling self-conscious now, that she'd put so much on Ramiel, she turned to him with her tear-stained face. She attempted to smile at him, and snorted. "Let's go to the Bay then? You can show me what you remember?" It felt brash and forced, but she needed to get out of here. She needed a distraction if she wasn't to fall apart in front of him again.
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