| Azizi blood is heavier than water |
| “I don’t think so,” Azizi responds to Rehoboam’s question, but he is suddenly much less sure of himself, and his one-and-a-half ears turn back in self-doubt. He doesn’t want to get anything wrong, not when it’s someone who matters to the tobiano stallion before him. The younger, brown male thinks for a moment, and then he finds a way he might clear them both of any doubt. He’d heard whispers of the wolf that prowled the shadows of Paradise, and more than once, his mother had likened the silver-maned mare to a wolf. It was only logical, then, that they must be related. (It made sense, and settled with a weight into Azizi’s bones, one that he couldn’t shake. Why else would Rehoboam be so concerned, if it wasn’t another wicked heart that threatened him, again?) “Does he look like Nyimara?”
And once Rehoboam’s answer came, he is able to answer with certainty, this time. “It wasn’t him.” But there is little relief to be had, because the truth is, it didn’t really matter. An enemy was an enemy, and hurt was hurt. An apology curls upon Azizi’s tongue, again, but he keeps it there, behind his teeth, because his throat is tight, again, and he knows he can’t afford to fall to pieces now, not when he’s hoping Rehoboam will let him go in search of Celestine. So, he holds himself together, even though his heart is breaking for everything that Rehoboam has to endure, everything he has to lose, and the moment that will soon come when Azizi will have to leave him behind and run. And finally, when Rehoboam concedes to what Azizi has asked of him ( ‘Let me go.’ ) , all the desert bred mutt can do to begin with is nod. But eventually he manages to find his voice, and he offers spoken affirmation too. “I promise. I’ll be safe,” and ( ‘ I’ll come back to you ‘ ) he draws in a steadying breath. It’s just as well, for at Rehoboam’s next words, the air leaves him in a rush, and Azizi hunches his shoulders, preparing to draw himself up to his full height and argue against what he’s just heard, but Rehoboam’s reasoning quickly extinguishes the fire. “The Badlands,” the male repeats, finding it acceptable enough. Yes, he will keep out of the Dunes, just as Rehoboam has asked, and wait along the border. To be safe, like he promised. But then, just when Azizi thinks what might be his last minutes with Rehoboam (for now) will pass in a steadying sort of silence, something more is asked of him. One more thing. “Anything,” Azizi immediately responds, more-or-less interrupting the grullo in his eagerness, but as Rehoboam continues, the younger stallion sours, and while he doesn’t attempt to take back his vow, a small part of him does wish he hadn’t been so hasty in offering it. Ears turned back, further than before this time, Azizi’s voice is tight when he speaks. “You shouldn’t have promised her anything.” He cannot help but flinch at the sharpness of his own words; because of who he says them to. Azizi cannot find it within himself to be angry at Rehoboam, and he doesn’t want Rehoboam to see the monster inside him - the one that is of Shenzi’s own making. It doesn’t matter what you promised her, he wants to say, and, it doesn’t matter if you can’t keep it. It wasn’t Rehoboam’s fault that he was stuck here. But, Azizi can’t help but wonder. “She came back to the Lagoon late last summer. I told her to get out, and never come back.” Even as the words crawl, burning, up his throat, he knows it’d be better not to speak them, because he fears he knows the truth, and he knows it’ll hurt. But he cannot keep them trapped behind his teeth so easily as he can an apology. “Did she come back? After I made it clear that… The Lagoon was the one thing that I chose for myself. That -” you are my family. “Is that where she made you promise her something?” It was so hard, trying to keep his voice from breaking, and stop the panic rising. “You can’t - you can’t trust her, Reh. She… She’s no good for - for me, for either of us.” But he… He had to keep Reh safe, and if that meant facing his mother again in Rehoboam’s place, so be it. “If I find her… I’ll protect her.” Even if it would tear him up inside, and turn his gentle mouth bitter. “Reh… Promise me you’ll stay safe too,” Azizi said, not long after, in a voice so small. He didn’t want to leave on a sour note. (Didn’t want to leave at all, but he would.) “I think something happened between them,” he dropped his voice to a whisper, afraid of who else might hear. Leaned close, as though to ensure Rehoboam could catch every word of warning, but the truth was Azizi just needed to be close to him, draw strength from his warmth and courage from his scent. It didn’t make sense that Shenzi was so scarce, and it troubled him deeply, not knowing what had happened, not knowing what the future held because of it. “For so long all she wanted was to get out of the Lagoon and back to Nyimara. But she’s not here, and for some reason, that makes me more uneasy than anything else ever has.” |