Desert

A numbness, unlike anything Vanya had ever felt before had curled into the hollow of her chest, radiating outward until the entirety of the world around her felt like little more than a terrible, unending nightmare.

She realized her mistake, although it did her little good now. Rougaru had never wanted her love, her affection, her time, her energy, her skills. He cared not for her well-being or her happiness, nor even for the safety of their yearling daughter. Vanya's only purpose here had been to serve as a distraction for him, a body to warm his bed at night while he waited for the woman who would burn it all down just to spite him. The woman who had run from him time, and time, and time again. The one who hid her children when Vanya could not forcibly take them from her, preventing the wolf from ever seeing the pups it had sired. The one who unmanned him every chance that she had.

And yet still. Not only was Titania back from the depths of hell, but he had crowned her. Welcomed her back with open arms and fucking crowned her.

How had she become so bloody stupid? So certain of her place at Rougaru's side that she'd give up her goals just to hold him again. Had turned her back on the glorious promise of finding a lover to treasure her for who she was and what she could do. Had (mostly) forgiven him for abandoning them all, and had stayed with him here in this dry wasteland. Had begun to rebuild his herd for him until he finally found the balls to approach mares himself once more. Had borne him yet another strong child without (much) complaint. Silly her, she'd thought they were building something new. Something different. Something separate from the ghosts of Atlantis.

How stupid of her to believe he would ever change.

Gods, she hated herself. Hated him, too, but hating him and loving him had always been entwined. Vanya wasn't sure if she could tell the difference anymore. She'd simply gotten swept away by the rhythm of their dance and forgotten that her missteps could easily carry her to her own death.

She turned away from the tracks the comet-colored whore had left in the sands of her home, and made her own way to the ocean, her sights set on the Crossing and then beyond, to the northern shore. It was time he had a little reminder of what his priorities were supposed to be.

OOC: No responses necessary, she just big mad and needed to say it. <3

vanya . mare . nsh . seal bay roan overo . desert . loveinspired