Returning to Parvati was a blessing but, the lack of concentration it gave him elsewhere may as well have been a curse. He was confused about the feelings he possessed for Calfuray, especially when he felt a strange bite of jealousy at the signs of her pregnancy, knowing he hadn’t covered her when she was in season. Orphiel had felt guilty for his envy and turned to Parvati, soaking in having her love again, in exploring her birth island, the home of his blood, and living again.
As Parvati’s sides swelled Orphiel knew the foal she carried was his. His smell had covered her almost obsessively all season, eager to touch and have her whenever she might let him near.
A new guilt found him as he watched Parvati struggle with the pregnancy. Loss after loss, and who was he to offer any comfort? Orphiel did not want to leave the Inlet long enough to fight, worried if he left Parvati’s side someone would come and take advantage of her state. Besides, he knew his track record, there was something naturally with fighting that he did not seem to possess. He might win a fight here or there, but when push came to shove it always seemed he lost the fights he attempted. How could he guard the Inlet and keep Parvati safe if he were to injure himself?
But Devi… Devi was taken away, and Orphiel found another twist of aching guilt that made sleeping difficult. He worried about her and hoped that even if she’d been taken unwillingly away, the desert herd was not treating her unkindly. Maybe, just maybe, Devi would be able to have fun, forget about the struggles at home, and come into her own away from them.
Or maybe he was just telling himself that because he was so, so tired of the guilt.
Orphiel caught sight of the figure of his queen down the dark pebble shoreline and turned immediately toward her. It was as if he was magnetized, pulled toward her without any second thoughts. He rumbled a soft, worried whinny toward her as he drew close, calling just above the rolling crash of the ocean tide. He could see the sorrow and weariness across her face, but he could see the way she lifted her head high still, a fire of determination still burning deep inside her.
“Parvati,” he called her name softly as he drew close, just before he reached to brush his brown lips across her pink ones. He was quiet for a moment, frustration working its way across his face, lips drawing tight as his brown-lined ears flicked outward. “I… I’ve been wanting to apologize to you,” he admitted, throat going tight. His heartbeat increased, already filled with shame at even the prospect of disappointing her, “I should have been able to step in and take your battles, and win them for you… I shouldn’t have let Devi be taken… I…” What could he say? He was selfishly too worried about Parvati’s safety and that of their unborn child to sacrifice himself for their first? Orphiel faltered, eyes falling down to his hooves. “If you want me to try and steal her away, I will go…” Everything inside him revolted. To leave Parvati’s side… it felt like torture.
But if she needed him… if she needed him to bring Devi home…
“Just tell me what I can do, Parvati,” he asked her, bringing his eyes back up to hers. “Tell me what I can do to make things easier for you… I can’t… I can’t stand the look of sadness in your eyes.”
|
