i've been called worse by better.
The smoky black mare settled, relaxing some of the tautness in her features when she no longer felt the weight of his gaze. The pair of them stood there a moment in the stillness of the early morning. Despite the cold and the snow, the world slowly began to wake before them. Santana tried to derive joy from some part of it, feel some light-hearted curiosity about where the birds were off to, but there was nothing. Nothing yet had begun to lift the weight of the dead from her heart or mind.
She was grateful for the moment of easy quiet between them. The mare hadn't spoken to another living soul in months, and the quiet made the interaction a little easier for her to adjust. To be frank, the few words she had spoken were the first that had left her mouth since she'd left. Santana had felt the rasp of disuse when she had spoken, but thankfully it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. That, at least, was a relief. Knowing the silence couldn't go on forever, the black swallowed once, half-heartedly lubricating her throat.
"Do you want to talk about it?" The question hung there in the air gently enough, but the response was quick and heavy-handed. "No." She had always been taught to be wary of everyone and their intent and to always be on her guard. Anything could be used against you and be made a weakness. Her father had been like that, but it had grown into paranoia and righteous anger over the years. He was right to do so. After all, look what happened. A steadying breath left her lips, stirring the silence she'd let gather. He'd always been so guarded, kept no one close, and still to be ended so brutally..
"My-" she rasped hesitantly, clearing her throat then. Santana paused, briefly reconsidering, but she continued. "My father was killed." The memory flashed once before her brown eyes. Dark lashes fluttered once. as the smoky mare remembered finding his broken body at the foot of the cliff. He wouldn't have jumped. Santana could feel that much at least. It was likely a battle gone horribly wrong on his end. It had to be. "I didn't. . . I didn't find him until later." Her stomach churned horridly as the next string of half-whispered, grief-choked words left her lips.
"I can't stop seeing it."
-santana