Standing there in silence was more agonizing than anything else in this world. The regret, the physical and mental pain...it seems even the leaves on the trees above screeched their cry at her as they waved in the wind. A million voices talk in her head at once all until she hears the sound of hoof steps nearby. She steps on her injured leg, forgetting its injury for a second, but is quickly reminded by the pain. It was nothing compared to the pride she might muster to look Loupgaru in the face and tell him of her failures. Auburn eyes meet the judgmental, wild, gaze of her Guard. His icy voice cuts her heart like a knife.
"Yes," She says lowly. She only wastes a few seconds before letting her failures be known. "Devi was lost." Her gaze does not leave him even though shame riddles her gut. "I will get her back." It was a promise she plans on keeping. Devi was the only child she had so far that has done her a favor. Yasmina was fiercely loyal and protective, but Devi saved her life. "But that is not all I have to say to you." Her eyes finally leave his as a sigh rolls off her tongue. Losing Devi was hard, but getting out her own truth to Loupgaru was even tougher. Finding the right words that wouldn't just turn him away or stir his fiery tongue. She found silence to find her next words as her mind focuses on the past.
She remembers the energy she had as a young filly first taking this land as her own. She took down her enemies with some ease back then. She even defeated the very father of the one that now bested her. It seems her Peak was left when she was very young and now she was sinking towards the earth. Parvati did not feel old, but the shift in power was hard to ignore. While others seemed to rise in power with experience and age, she was having a much different experience.
But fighting had nothing to do with her current situation with Loup. "I love you," Her eyes stare up at the tree's branches. "Im sorry I hurt you, but you were here for my children where others were not. You are just as much their father aside from the blood in their veins." Loup helped protect them. He protected Devi from the raid, shielded Yasmina from the Lagoon Boss. Even the child she didn't pretend was his she felt like he would protect them all because they were hers.
"But I love more than just you." She swallows hard before her eyes finally go to his. "If you are looking for someone who will only have eyes for you. Share their heart with only you then it is not me. I love you, but I love them too." How could she ever choose just one of them? They have all helped her in so many ways. They have all spoken to her heart in different moments of her life that she couldn't give any of them up. "I understand if this means you must go." She was no stranger to the disconnect she could see from him. Loupgaru hardly ever left the Inlet and now lately he has been. He was searching for something more than she could give him.