Tears filled his eyes as Daire tucked herself silently against him. Zevulun’s pale lids closed tightly to them, but they escaped all the same, rolling down his white cheeks just as he curved the arch of his neck over her and held her closer. He allowed his tired, sad mind to run away with dreaming up the way he would have rather this entire moment with Daire went. They would have laughed breathlessly with unbelievable excitement after exchanging hushed confessions; Zevulun wondered what she might have looked like when she looked upon him with elation mixed with her love, rather than that dreadful understanding he shared too. Even the thought of it, of Daire smiling in pure joy, made the stallion smile wistfully as he quietly held her.

There were so many words that could’ve broken the quiet between them, but Zevulun stayed quiet instead. He could tell her he was sorry for it all, again and again and again until the word tasted strange on his tongue. He could tell her of how much she had come to mean to him and how just seeing her at peace with Vervain across the rolling fields of his home filled him with so much love, he was warmed all the way through. He could tell her how sometimes when he was with the mares he loved, those who still remained here with him in the Prairie, he sometimes envisioned her with them, rather than outcast to the outskirts without public explanation.

That was what Zevulun wished he could give her, but couldn’t. Or at least not permanently. It was inevitable, he knew. When he had been trapped for months, broken and bleeding, fighting infection and fever, crying out until he’d lost his voice, sure he was going to die… it had changed something in him. Loss after loss, however natural or unnatural they were, had broken him down further. Zevulun’s entire life had been a struggle to grasp tightly to whatever love he could have… so was it unfair of him to hope that despite all he had confessed and all he couldn’t give her (the true outlasting happy ending he felt she deserved), that Daire would stay?

Zevulun wasn’t sure if it’d only been a few moments or an hour, he only relaxed in holding her and allowed them this time. Then, at last, he sighed his sorrows in a warm breath before gently rubbing his cheek against whatever part of her was closest to him. Even as he pulled his head away he still lingered, allowing himself and her a brief moment of their quiet weakness as he laid a soft kiss to her skin again, and again, and one last lingering time. His eyes were still somewhat sad when they reached for her once he’d pulled back enough to see her again. “I should go before Vervain wakes,” he said quietly, voice ragged. The lines of exhaustion were clear across him. “I understand if you decide to leave, and I promise to find you a safe home” he offered, “but… I understand if you still want to stay.”

I understand if you still want to stay, because I still want you to stay.

“You don’t have to tell me now.” He added with a smile, “I think we’ve probably shared enough for the night.” Despite the sadness hanging around them, Zevulun’s smile even deepened somewhat, and it was clear he was only lightly poking fun. He had always been rather fond of leaning back on his joking charisma to try and help lighten the mood of an otherwise heavy situation.

“Good night, Daire,” He said as he took a step back, away from her, then glanced with tired, heavy eyes off toward the sky just barely starting to glow a lighter shade. The sun still had some time to rise, but it was clear how close it was. He laughed on his exhale and glanced back at Daire; she looked lovely in the very beginnings of the morning light. “Or, good morning, I should say.”