A gray sort of complacency had followed him in the days since he had left the Lagoon, an apathy he could neither shake nor see a way to remedy. That, at least, was better than the anger that bubbled beneath the suffocating blanket of his uncertainty, a rage he could not escape from. They had been
so closeto enacting real, tangible change in the Lagoon before Nahawi had decided to take the coward's way out, at the absolute worst possible time to do so.
Now, they were three extra steps behind and he wasn't sure he had the will to fight in him anymore.
The Lagoon would never be perfect, Rehoboam knew that. They could never wash away all of the sins, nor keep brothers from committing new ones... but they could shift things, at least a little bit. If there were consequences to such behavior, it might deter the newer, younger brothers from falling into the same villany. And more than that, it might promote more of them to join the Lagoon for the sort of brotherhood that
should exist there. What passed for brotherhood now was nothing more than a toxic codependency that strangled those that thought themselves a part of it.
If he could just manage to find someone with enough backbone to stay.
The tobiano sighed, and turned away from the border of the Lagoon. He'd been considering going back, but he knew better. After Frey, he knew better than to rely on someone who did not care for him. Despite all the claims of "brotherhood" that the men liked to throw out, Reh knew without a doubt that Garmr would sacrifice him the first chance he had.
Besides, it wasn't as though the brother's had wanted to stick up for him. Not even his own younger brothers had lifted their voices in support of him. Only Tribulation, a stallion he did not know, and Leukos, a trinket, had vouched for him. It had made him question if he was fighting the right fight for a moment, but he had abandoned that train of thought. Right or not, it was over.
And now what?
Now he didn't know.
He meandered through the early morning sunlight in the upper reaches of the Meadow, plenty far away from the Commons. It was nearer to the Peak than he was truly comfortable being after so many years in the Lagoon, but he doubted anyone would come looking for him anyhow. The fact that Khar'pern had been willing to trade away their most dangerous prisoner for a mare that was already going to be released was heavily telling of what mentality the women were in these days, and he wanted no part of it.