Cold as the December Wind Asphara Posted on February 24, 2025 at 05:33:27 PM by Polar
Mother's death. Sharkie. It had been rough on me. I was in shock at first. Father's death had taken a hard toll on mother. She hadn't really taken it well. Not like I had. Mother had withdrawn herself from the society she had always been a part of. No more had been the social and upbeat mare we had always known. No. Mother had become quiet. She had become so very different.
I had watched her wither away into someone unrecognizable. She stood in the shadows until the day she lay down and just gave up. That was the day that another piece of me died. It is one thing to lose a parent. Two so close together was heartbreaking. It truly was. I knew something had been wrong. I sought out her scent as I approached my old home. My birth home. The scent was wrong. It was all wrong. It made sense and it didn't. I didn't want to even think about it. But I was forced to in those moments. I had no choice as there she was. Standing before me. No, laying before me. Still and so very quiet. Too quiet. The smell was familiar. Father's smell had been like that.
That is when my new nightmare began. She would never see her first grandchild. She would never know him. I had withdrawn from everything for awhile after that and I shouldn't have. I felt like a failure though. I couldn't be thete to console my mother. I wasn't enough to comfort her. I had left my Asphara for awhile though. Left her carrying my only foal.
I hated myself for it. I was miserable because it had been almost a year now. What kind of father did that? Mother's death should not have been an excuse and yet, it was. A nightmare of an excuse. I had let myself talk me into seeking solitude when I should have been with Asphara and our child for the last several months. I should have let them be my comfort.
Slowly I picked up my pace. I followed the scent of mother and child. My heart skipped a beat as I drew in his scent. A son. Our son. I wanted to cry to the heavens above at how my firstborn was a boy. I almost couldn't believe it. I fell into a soft gallop as I approached the Forest. Different but pleasing to the eyes all the same. I didn't care where home was as long as Asphara was there. She was my everything. My world. No. They were my everything. Mother and son. My son. No, our son.
I slowed as my shimmering eyes fell on them. On our gorgeous little boy. He was not so little now though. He had been growing into a stunning yearling. I had missed almost all of the months up to nearly his first birthday. Foolish. I imagine she would be mad at me. I really couldn't blame her. I had let guilt and misery drive me away into the solitude. I felt like such a fool.
I had slowed to a walk finally as I drew close now. My nose gently stretched out to the Buckskin Varnish Roan colt that stood beside her. I brushed my nose over his neck and paused at his shoulder. "My boy. My son. Hello." Then my head came up again. Those eyes fell on my everything. On Asphara. My nose slowly stretched to find her own granted she didn't pull away from me. "I am so sorry Asphara. It is not enough of an excuse that I lost my mother. I let it bury me in self guilt. I ran to find solitude when I should have come to you. I should have let you be my comfort my love. Asphara, I cannot apologize enough." Gently I would let a warm breath of air find her neck then if she let me and I would whisper the words against her. Just loud enough that she could hear.
"I've missed you Asphara. I've missed you both. We had a son. He is stunning. Perfect. I'm just sorry I let myself miss almost all of the last year. But you've done an amazing job." This time I wasn't going anywhere. I had missed enough of their lives and it was too much. My promise had been that I would always come home. She was my home. They were my world. My everything.
"Asphara, I'm home and I'm not going anywhere. Where the both of you are is where I belong. That won't ever change." I meant it too. I was home to stay. I wanted nowhere else to be. The Forest was home because they were here. I was here now too. I had a lot of time to make up for. It had been nearly a year afterall. It had been far too long.
Our son was quiet and thoughtful. Confused and a little wary. He had a right to be his father had materialized after a year and just announced that he was his sire. I can't blame him at all. Replies: