Falls

He seems frozen beneath my touch, and I do not know how to take that. I do not know if the meeting of our skin affects him as much as it does me, but I find that all I want to do is lean more of my weight against him, to sob against the plinth of his body and rage against the unfairness of it all. It does not matter that he is the most unfair part of all of this, that my pain, my agony, my undoing were all his fault.

Garmr may not have been the one to trick me into this life, but he had done everything in his power to keep me in. He had thwarted multiple escapes, chased off multiple would-be knights in shining armor. Was that an indication that he cared? Probably not. But to a heart so starved for the sort of love and affection that had been so freely heaped upon it throughout its formative years could not be blamed for looking for kindness in the smallest, most unlikely of places. He could hate me all he wanted, but so long as I was able to imagine that he held back even the smallest bit, I feared that I would be able to convince myself that that, too, was love.

He protests more, but I have not the energy to respond, nor the strength to pull away. Whatever contact he still allows me, I cling to, the tears slipping silently down my cheeks as I relish even this small shred of affection. My breath hitches as he reaches down to touch me, then catches in my chest and I cough slightly, fluted ears ticking toward the close proximity of his voice though my eyes have shuttered. It is foolish to trust the beast that mere moments ago was ready to end my life, but I find that I do not care.

Whether I trust him or not, I cannot sway the shape or direction of my future any longer. Whether I like it or not, all of my future lay in his hands, to cherish, or mold, or cast away as he saw fit. In the small bubble between us, my nostrils flare and then I speak again, not quite defiant, but not quite willing to let it go.

"You are so ready to assume the worst of me," I whisper, choking out a little chuckle that made my breath whistle. "Even if I were the type, Garmr... I would not hurt you like that." And then because they were the words that I wanted to hear, but knew that I would never hear them from his lips or anyone else's ever again, I murmur something else: "you are safe with me."