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I notice the slight lift to her voice when I press into her. She seems happier when I'm touching her. Perhaps this is due to the touching of our souls. It makes everything else seems more complete. Her eyes look a bit sad though and I have a feeling she's still thinking about Kiska and her role in all this. I know my mate doesn't like that I'm still so connected to Natalya but she doesn't argue with it because she knows there's no use. She knows that I won't be happy unless I have Natalya in my life. Natalya and Kiska were becoming friends before I made my decision to be with Kiska and I know that had a lot to do with tearing them apart. I hate that it was my fault because I believe the two would have been unstoppable with their skills and personalities. Of course, I could never try to reconcile the two. They are both in love with the same male so how could I? That would be even worse torture for Natalya, having to see Kiska and knowing that she's with me. It would hurt Kiska seeing Natalya and knowing that I go to her when I'm not with Kiska. Either way, it's a losing situation. She puts her muzzle to my ear, whispering that she missed me too. My heart jumps for joy at the revelation. She growls my name, making my skin ripple in pleasure. She curls her neck around mine and I lean into the touch, feeling her skin shake. She works so hard to be strong but she doesn't have to be around me. She seems to have given up on trying to make me leave Kiska. I'm relieved that we don't have to fight about it anymore because I don't want to fight, not with her. She wrinkles her nose for a second but as if realizing something, she releases, her face relaxing. I'm guessing she can smell Kiska on my fur but she's deciding to let it go. She's not miserable anymore and that's what counts. She's better now and in this moment we are together, just like we should be. The heart is temporary and the soul is permanent, this is true. Kiska holds my heart and I will be with her for life but when that life is over, I will die and my soul will depart with Natalya because that is where it belongs. She buries her head in my fur and I embrace her, wrapping myself around her protectively, turning daring eyes on the rest of the world. Any who would think to harm her will have to answer to me first and that won't be pretty. Instead she's decided to let go of her bitterness and embrace what we are, soul mates. Suddenly she looks up at me and starts talking Latin, telling me that she loves me and that she's sorry. She does accept that I will be with Kiska. I reach out, nuzzling her cheek. You have been and never will be a fool, Natalya. You reacted out of emotion and at one point, that was a weakness but after much research, I have decided that emotion is sometimes necessary. I love you and that will never change. I'm happy you are okay. I hated seeing you so hurt. I jump right over the subject of Kiska, not because it doesn't matter, but because I don't want to drag out the hurt any more than it should be dragged out. She knows where I stand and that's what matters. She pulls away and whines, as if the loss of contact is physically hurting her and in a way, it does hurt. I can feel my soul aching for the contact once more as I stare into her eyes. She wants forgiveness and I smile. You will always be forgiven, no matter what. Never think that you won't be. |