Character & HTML © ApollymiHome, at last. I want to cry at the deep scar on the face of my beloved Moladion, at the great loss it symbolizes. My imprint, my mate, my babies, all lost to that wicked ball of fire that came from the enraged Angels. What had we done but their will on earth? Nothing, perhaps it was because they were jealous of what Heyel and I had created, perhaps it was because we grew too content with our lives at the now gone plateau home of Trenus. My small paws dance silently across the ravaged face of this new world, this giant scar in the earthen face of my long time home. The wind whips at my exposed flesh, the wrinkled surface a direct result of the Angel’s fire that they had cast upon Lucian and myself. My little ones had been beneath me in that suffocating heat, I kissed them, loved them one last time as I slipped into the inky black peace of unconsciousness. I felt nothing until the searing touch of burning wood touched my skin, forever sealing the kiss of the angel of vengeance. I heard he carried a fiery sword, and I had been struck by it, rising above the conflagration of the funeral pyre, I leapt away. Weak and dizzy from the smoke and flame, I panicked. I was unaware of anything as I ran, the horrid flame chasing me away from my little loves, away from my imprint and into the awaiting arms of distant lands. I have earned my scars, a heinous reminder that I left my little ones and my soul behind me in the flame.
I wait, the familiar ache in my throat, the rising lump, the hot burning of tears in my oceanic gaze. I choke, trying not to let them escape this time as I see their faces flash in my mind’s eye. Heyel, Letum, Scarlet, Amaterasu, Isola, Aaliyah, Azrael, Sinopa, Kael, Lucifer, Calista, Ferox, Seraphiel, Eris, Lucian, Castor…All of them lost to the wrath of the Angels. I wish, after two years, I would be used to the aching bleeding in my chest, the burning in my skin, the heavy feeling of my body as I rise each morning to a cold empty den. I return home, hardened by fire, a new me. Doubt me not, I am still just as tactful, but I would care not to delve too tightly into the general populace. I would rather not even fully show my face, but alas, a woman has to hunt. I do not feel my age, though I am only four short years from twenty. The tension rises again in my chest and I lick the bare patch of crinkled and delicate skin of my scar, the heat of my tongue nearly burning like the very fire that created my disfiguration. These bare patches, my scars from my great battle of survival, are reminders that I must walk with now, that I must see every time I bend my head to drink. I have always been the object of admiration and jealousy, but now, as I walk through these once familiar lands I can hear the whispers of those around me, I can feel the pointed gazes as they talk about the scarred wolf walking by. Their words slash away at my pride syllable by slow syllable, destroying any semblance of an ego I once had.
My face may be unmarred by the disaster, but my spirit has been broken. My eyes do not hold the same light they used to, though this light sparks each time I see a male of white, or even dark silver. Sometimes I thought Heyel was there with me, keeping my den warm, but it would only be a warm ray of sunlight cast down. In these moments, I would imagine Heyel as the very sun, his shining face keeping me warm in the cold air of the early mornings. How many times have I cried out for him, for any of my children as I traveled that foreign realm? I have called until my voice was gone, and even then continued on squeaks and whines, howling out until my very vocal cords bled and I coughed and sputtered. I ran until the pads of my paws were cracked and bleeding, looking, searching, all in vain. They were gone, and my brain had settled into the deepest depression I have ever known. Thunder rolled in the distance, the distinct promise of rain as I come to a small lake, the remnants of Japeras Lake, I assume. Lucian’s face whispers across my mind as I look at the muddy shores. I remember the heavy shield he made over my pups and I, keeping the worst of the onslaught from us. My soul shatters anew with each memory of us.
I will be forever grateful for my imprint’s sacrifice, but there is always going to be a missing piece of me because of the loss of him. I miss my mate, my children, my imprint, my home, my life…I am nothing but a living husk of my former self. I have seen wolves revel in happiness of finding their families and envied them, I have even wrinkled my nose to show my fangs in anger that they got to experience joy once more. I have driven myself to the brink of madness chasing phantoms of my family, nearly killed myself twice for the sorrow I have been taken into. My road home has been a dark and lonely one, my daughters filling my mind each time I see a butterfly, bird, or dragonfly, my sons each time I see the mighty buck, boar, or elk. My beloved Heyel each time the sun graces my body with its irreplaceable heat and light. I see Lucian in the reflective surfaces of the lakes and ponds, where I can see myself. Something had changed within me that night as I looked at him, fear in my eyes as he calmly took his position around me. The world shifted on its axis and I felt almost as if I could feel the bond as well. This gaping wound where my soul used to be tells me I could feel it. I sigh softly, laying on the banks of the lake, wishing something would come along to remind me of the greatness I once had.
"Yeah, this is talking and junk.."
Zeivah
"Baptized in fire, I rise like the phoenix from the ashes"