I feel this...feeling, that I don't like. It is an unpleasant feeling. One that came from when Elric didn't realize I was there. When his eyes didn't come into contact with mine and when he ignored my playful peek-a-boo. He just...stared, his eyes refused to fall towards me, and my own blue-hazed golds watched as he walked away towards....her. Another female. So quickly, so easily. He said he was mine, that I could do as I wished with him and yet, he paid me no mind at all. He walked to her like a zombie, and my white face had to watch it all.

I felt something inside of me after that. It is hard to describe. I think some call it anger, jealousy. I find my black stilts walking back and for in the swampy thicket of the mid western crater. The place that I now call after Jaidah died. Second Mother, yes, she died and now I am all alone. She left me, with no one, just as everyone did in the end. First Mother, Father, brother, Elric. They all left me. I was rather indifferent to the first three, but Elric, he was mine. He made a little...flutter happen within me. He made me feel warm instead of cold and callous, for probably the first time in my life. Now, I am back to being cold, cold as steel as my silver and gold form walks back and forth and back and forth. I do not know how long I paced, mud caking onto my paws as they begin to feel numb. My den is near by, full of the rotting dead that fits in well with the swamp. My prized pelt of Finley lay inside, the only thing left I have of Jaidah. The stench of the dead is thoroughly threaded into my pelt, and I am sure the scent of death is...here to stay.

My feminine face of a ghostly white is slightly hinted with the stress of my situation. My mind is trailing back for now, back to my most primal of desires. I know it is caused from Elric leaving me, so he can fawn over some other...female. I never knew how important this whole, gender thing was until I saw the way he looked at her. He is supposed to look at me this way. Normally, I would probably look at this girl and find something I like about her...her eyes, her pelt, her ears...and then I would want them for myself for observation. Instead, I desire to...destroy, for the sake of destruction. I don't want anything about her to exist. I want her obliterated. My jaws click as I clench, my raven paws twisting as I turn, walking over a path I had made so clearly in the past...hours.

I find a growl playing in my throat, vibrating my whole being slowly in my obviously displeased state. It is past the time where the sun is at its highest. It has been nearing the horizon, and very soon it would fall to twilight. There are many trees surrounding me in this wet world, I can see them go to no end, and it is cold, very cold. I can feel the freezing earth trying to penetrate through my paws, as clouds are starting to cross towards where the sun is setting. It is clouds that carry snow, this I do know. I may just let it bury me. I usually rather enjoy the snow, how strange it is, and how the flakes can be so, intricate and beautiful when looked at closely. You see, I always look at things closely, on a small scale, and I notice the smallest of things in this world, and yet now, I am so blinded by this terrible feeling, that I care not when the first flakes begin to fall. I continue my pacing, laced in a growl, my silver tail lashing in the white freeze around me. I wish it would take it all away, these feelings, this pain. I dare the earth to make me numb.