Summer has arrived. The world has been well at peace, and others seem to be trying to take advantage. They believe we are lazy and complacent. We are no such thing. Remain vigilante, friends and family.
Give your congratulations to Maiko. She has been promoted to Blizzard; she earned it.
We also have an activity check going. Please reply so I can make adjustments accordingly. Check will go for an entire month so we can hopefully capture everyone.
As always, if you have need of me, do not hesitate to find me.
= Heaven Help Me = IP: 124.170.248.200 Posted on June 29, 2013 at 00:24:06 AM by Azrael
I don’t hate my own son, I adore him, I love him, I’d die for him but I don’t…..understand him. I can’t even begin to try and fathom him because he’s something I’ve never seen before. I understand that my Stella is from a different world, a different place, her beliefs are far from my own and I respect that, allow that and yet some tiny part of my mind blames her ridiculous star stories for our son acting the way he does. Dream-walking? Sleep-talking? Why can’t he just be like every other puppy? Why can’t his biggest problem be that he’s worried he won’t grow into his giant feet? Or that his brothers will be faster than him? Or some other ridiculous, childish worry that I can explain to him? I never did like what I couldn’t understand, I’ve always been that why. I was never the boy who was satisfied with asking his Mother a question, asking her why something is the way it is, only to be told ‘because’. I never found that a satisfying answer, I like to know the reasons behind things, the logic and I see no logic when I look at my little boy. I just…..want him to grow up feeling like he’s wanted and respected and loved, I want him to fit in the way I never did, I don’t want people looking at him and judging him because of who or what he is and the damn boy is out her yelling at trees. Why can’t he just be like his brothers? Why can’t he be like Meryl or better yet, Guardian? Guardian I understand, he’s what he should be, what I should have been, he is what I want for all my sons. Normal. Regular. Accepted, hell, he’s already made himself a best friend in Achilles, I’ve seen him with the other pups, nobody questions him, nobody looks at him strangely. I just want Starfall to be that happy and I don’t know how to make him feel that.
The boy jerked his head away as I approached, a gesture I ignored lest my own agitation get the better of me again. Hell, I don’t mean to shout all the time I just…..I get overwhelmed with everything, I don’t mean it I suppose, not really- then again I guess a child doesn’t understand that. I used to cry whenever Heyel yelled at me, I used to run to my Mother and bury my face in her fur and cry because once more I’d disappointed my Father, once more I couldn’t be who and what he wanted. They say it’s because I am him, because I’m a younger, more emotional version of him, that we clash because we are the same. I think that is the biggest lie anyone in Trenus ever started. Either way, I don’t want to be Heyel, I don’t want Starfall to be me all over again but hell I don’t know how to make it right. Why can’t he just stop his stupid dreaming? Can’t a healer fix him? My thick tail flicked in agitation as I approached, attempting to force my irritation down. I wasn’t really mad at him, it’s just been a rough night and he worried me and I don’t handle that well. My glowing white form finally made it to his own, my muzzle lowering to nuzzle against him, pulling him close, holding him, because I was damn well worried that if I spoke I’d just say the wrong things. Yeah, it’s just better if I don’t talk.
Apparently however my actual presence in any form seems to aggravate my child, the boy growling in protest as I worked to fix his ridiculous hair. Honestly you’d think he liked it like that the way it was always askew. Didn’t he understand we had a reputation to uphold? The thing about Angels is kinda that we look amazing all the time, can’t say it’s the best tradition to ever be passed down and yet it’s expected of us, all of us blessed enough to carry the blood of Heyel and Zeivah, to look good all the time, even when you just wake up and you’d rather sit for a few minutes before having to do your hair. The boy managed a snort of protest, one I matched rather derisively, snorting back at him with my own irritation as he squirmed about. Why did he have to be so damn difficult? I was trying ok? I was actually trying and he’s snorting and wriggling and growling. If he did that again I’d give him something to growl about. I finally managed to flatten one particularly irritating piece of fur, a brief smirk touching my lips at my work before the boy finally decided to speak, snowy ears pricking forward as I turned the opalescence of my gaze down towards him. The first words out of his mouth only sought to rise the heat in my veins once more. The tree told him? Honestly I don’t know whether to be sad or mad or just….give up, even so I actually made the effort to keep my features calm and neutral in case he looked up as he spoke, telling me about the birds and the tree and having to punish them. Well, at least he was a manly…..misfit. What do you do when your son tells you these things and the only thing you think is that the damn tree was right? Such thoughts were brushed away however at the mention of hair, my eyes rolling.
“Star, there is always time for hair.”
Excellent fatherly advice. Can’t wait to get my wolf of the year award. I sighed, once more half wishing I just hadn’t spoken, or that I’d managed to say something useful, at least I wasn’t yelling though, that was an achievement, Andro would be proud. Apparently however the men of this family like to yell, the boy wriggling free of my grasp to leap into the snow, stalking a few strides away before sitting once more, curling his little dark tail about his paws as I shifted nervously, half wondering if I should follow him. Why did he look so…upset? Hell I can’t even be near him without making him angry. His sudden shout sent my form forward, long stride reaching the boy in no more then a step or two. His latina was lovely, if anything, flawless and perfect and for a moment I was actually proud to realise I’d managed to teach him something useful as I sat somewhat awkwardly beside him, my snowy frame dwarfing his own.
“Star, the trees they don’t…….they don’t talk and neither do the birds, son…I….why do you think they talk? Why do you think they are saying those things? Nobody is saying them, I…….you don’t hear voices in your head do you, when you’re awake?”
The thought had only just occurred, eyes flicking down towards him. Maybe….maybe there was something actually wrong with him other then this overactive imagination as I liked to pretend it was. Maybe I could tell the other wolves that. I sighed again, my own gaze turned upward. Why did Zeivah have to leave? Why isn’t she here when I actually need her? My gaze returned to my son, MY son. I was never going to understand, I was never going to like it but I…..I don’t want him thinking those things, I don’t want anyone thinking those things about my boy. If I can’t make it right, if I can’t stop others thinking them, then maybe I can at least protect him from them. I always was good at that. Maybe I can’t win the war, but I’ll be damned if I lose this battle.
“I….I don’t think those things. I don’t think there's anything…wrong with you.”
I shifted again, gaze turned towards the pack land. I’m not good with emotional things, I can’t look him in the eye and say it, but neither could Heyel, the boys of this family never were emotional in that regard. We apparently just get worked up really quickly. I tried for a smile, I just want him to be…happy I suppose, really, in the end.
“But I think you did do something wrong. I don’t think you punished the tree properly. Maybe…..I can help you? Maybe you can tell me what you want me to do to it and I’ll…ummm…teach it a lesson?”
If the world was going to think my son is crazy, then they might as well assume I am as well and if I have to spend my life protecting him from trees, then so be it…..
Starfall and I….we aren’t bad guys, the world just doesn’t understand us.
AZRAEL
"5 years ~ No Mate ~ Soul of Andromeda ~ Heyel x Zeivah ~ 41in 177lbs ~ Sire of Starfall & Guardian ~ Diveen "
Lightning Queen
The Queen of Diveen. She may accept all challenges and block any steal. She is the sworn protector of the pack and all who reside here.
Thunder King
The Lightning Queen's mate and second-in-comman. He may accept any challenge and block all steals. He may accept new members. This position cannot be challenged for but is currently empty.
Whirlwind
This rank belongs to the closest advisor to the Lightning Queen. This wolf can block steals and accept new members. When there is no Thunder King, this rank may accept challenges. This rank cannot be challenged for.
Stormfront
These wolves are the protectors of the borders and are personal guards to the Lightning Queen. They may help to gauge new wolves and are essentially the domestic protector. In certain times they may be called upon to resolve domestic disputes, but generally they are tasked with watching the borders or staying close to the Lightning Queen. At times, information may need to be brought to the Stormfront who will personally deliver messages to the Lightning Queen.
Quake
The Quake is the lead warrior and in charge of the Tremors, who make up the brute force of the pack. This wolf is a protector of the borders and may accept new wolves. They may be called upon to help gauge a new member. They train the Tremors. Haze
The Haze is the head thief and secret keeper of the pack, charged with acting in the pack’s best interest and operating with a low profile. They train the Mists. They also act as a scout, relaying and finding out information. They work closely with the Tsunami. This wolf may block steals. Monsoon
The Monsoon is the lead healer and caregiver of the pack. They are tasked with healing wounds, assisting with births, and making sure that the pack remains happy and healthy both mentally and physically. They may also be called upon to boost morale through storytelling or other means. They train the Rains. Tsunami
The Tsunami is the lead diplomat and peacekeeper, tasked with protecting the pack from internal and external strife, as well as form treaties and ally with other packs in conjunction with the Lightning Queen and Whirlwind. They report directly to the Lightning Queen, and train the Tides. Blizzard
The Blizzard works closely with the Haze, but is more of an information gatherer. They may act as a thief at times, but are largely tasked with spying and scouting, reporting their findings to their superiors. Hurricane
The Hurricane is the head hunter of the pack. They train the Wind and organize pack hunts.
Rainbow
This wolf is the joker of the pack. Their job is to bring a smile to everyone's face and try to keep a light mood. They will be tasked with caring for pups and keeping an eye on them. They are the keeper of all types of fun and games for the pack. Gale
The Gale is concerned mostly with keeping track of the history of the pack, collecting stories and learning of events that might have happened long ago. They might tell history as stories to pups or create events in honor of those who have gone before.
Tremors
These wolves report to the Quake and make up the protectors and warriors of the pack.
Mists
The agents of the Haze, these wolves are tasked with maintaining order through more secretive means.
Tides
The Tides are diplomats and report to the Tsunami, they may be tasked with updating treaties or contacting allies.
Rains
These are the healers and caregivers of the pack, and they report to the Monsoon. They may be called upon as healers or babysitters. Winds
These are the hunters of the pack, responsible for feeding each member. They report to the Hurricane. Snows
These are the scouts of the pack, reporting to the Blizzard- they are involved with information gathering, both internal and external, and may be called upon as guerilla fighters of sorts should the time come.
Dusk
The general members of the pack, those who have not yet chosen a path or rank. However, they are still highly valued and may be called upon for other things.
Twilight
The apprentices of the pack, pups older than one who are in training.
Dawn
The innocence and the future of our pack.
Day
Esteemed guests of the pack.
Sun
Those allied with the pack, to be treated with respect and offered assistance.
Moon
Those who shine down upon us and guide us with their light.
Eclipsed
Those who have proven themselves enemies of the pack, they should not be trusted.
